Cooked your own spleen 

"A well known expression for a newspaper closing" - David Mitchell

To put yourself into a unfortunate/self-damaging situation where the blame cannot be successfully shifted onto someone else i.e. Shooting yourself in the foot

Phil: Did you get to shag that slag from oceana?
James: Nah fam, got too wasted and passed out
Phil: You've cooked your own spleen, there!
James: I know, bruv

Mike G: Did you break up with Lydia?
Marcel: Nope. Told her I loved her by accident.
Mike G: CYOS.

Reginald Poshington: Hello there old chap! How goes it?
Rogers Chestertonmastercard IV: Not so well, I'm afraid old sport. I just heard back from the Regatta Club and it seems my work to further the segregation amongst the races within my rugby club, albeit a step back into the ways of the splendour of Uncle Adolf, served as a conflict of interests and hence they have heaved me from the running to become a partner. Daddy won't be pleased at all.
Reginald: Well then, old spice! You've cooked your own spleen, haven't you?
Rogers: In deed! This is TRULY a recipe for disaster

News of the world's last headline: "We've Cooked Our Own Spleen"

Cooked your own spleen by theclassgeek November 9, 2012

Choked sneakers 

A word used by carle place kids when someone has shoes that bulge up cause they are worn a lot

That kid has a big ass foot and look at his shoes there choked sneakers

Choked sneakers by Bdbdotcom January 17, 2017

Cooked cunt 

Someone that is fried on drugs, usually meth or weed. Often looks and acts mentally disabled.

"Fuck off ya cooked cunt, ya nearly broke the bong"

Often used in a friendly way amongst Australians. "How ya been ya cooked cunt?"

Cooked cunt by bunchbiccedcunts May 14, 2015

crooked as a Florida election 

Inspired by the incompetence and blatant corruption, often both at the same time, seen in Florida elections since the year 2000.

Our city council is as crooked as a Florida election.

crooked as a Florida election by james savik November 15, 2018

crooked head syndrome

When an individual develops a slight curve in his or her neck making it appear the head is crooked. May progressively get worse until head is parallel to the ground. Usually making an individual less attractive. Depression often pairs with crooked head syndrome.

Look at that girl she has crooked head syndrome.

Missy has severe crooked head syndrome.

crooked head syndrome by Craigadon September 15, 2009

crispy croke 

A crispy croke ...what else can I say?

Only KnJers know what's uuuup

JC: ...
Kian: cRisPy cRoKe fOr mY cRaCk dAd

crispy croke by crackasscrackdad October 23, 2019

Crooked grind 

A skateboarding trick where you ollie onto a rail, land your front truck on the rail, and grind the rail at about a 45 degree angle. Not a beginner trick.

Crooked's look neat.

Crooked grind by Ricky Benda May 27, 2005