fappus interruptus 

Noun: A sex act in which a male starts fapping (masturbating) to internet porn only to be interrupted by his cunty wife coming back unexpectedly soon from the shopping mall. When this occurs, the male must quickly shut down the porn site, pull up his pants, and make it look like he was researching do-it-yourself home renovation projects on some girly home improvement website. Similar to coitus interruptus but refers to only male solo sex acts.

Robert: I was in the middle of jerking off to big titty porn when my stupid wife came back too early from the mall.

Dan: Haha! Fappus interruptus! Did you get caught?

Robert: Nah, I pulled up my pants and browsed to some gay Martha Stewart endorsed home improvement website.

fappus interruptus by Cunty Joe September 24, 2016

faptop 

A laptop solely used for fapping.

Bob, don't use that computer - that's my faptop.

faptop by iamdan March 9, 2008

Faptain

Variation of Captain Obvious.

The Faptain will give you the name of the girl in the picture for research purposes.
Call the Faptain whenever an unnamed girl's picture makes you want to have a tug of war with you pelvis.

Derp: "Wow she is hot I need her name to Google for my research".

Faptain: *swoops in, names girl and flies away*

Faptain by Bazrael October 19, 2014

Fapoosh 

When you jizz in a girl and she queef out your jizz.

My girlfriend fapooshed all over me I was mad because we were trying for kids.

Fapoosh by the real word definer January 23, 2015

fapping fuel 

Any kind of material that is capable of helping one fap. It could be something as simple as the sight of a camel toe or as elaborate as the viewing of a hardcore porno. Every day, we see fapping fuel, and it is our duty to make sure that we put it in our wank bank for later use.

Keith: "So, I was looking at my girlfriend's magazines while I was taking a shit and I just couldn't stop myself from stroking my cock to the sexy cover of some model in her underwear. "
Kevin: "Well I guess that's what happens when you overload on that fapping fuel. Good thing you were in the bathroom when you saw it."

fapping fuel by thisplacesucksass March 28, 2015

faptist 

A baptist that preaches the good word about masturbation.

After years of not knowing how to properly masturbate, Jimmy went to see the faptist to get helpful advice on how to do it.

faptist by Protractor May 16, 2016

Fapruary 

Fapruary is a national, month long event in which people fap everyday in the month of February.

Person #1>Hey man, no fap november is really killing me...
Person #2>Yeah, I can wait till fapruary!

Fapruary by I Tai I November 13, 2011