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Processed meat 

The act of masturbating, but instead of already being horny and just feeling like a wank, you have to touch yourself a lot just to achieve a boner. Thus, the achievement of an erection and subsequent ejaculation is wholly manufactured and processed, unlike the natural, and far more common "horny wank", customarily used to alleviate "blue balls". This processed meat is often called a "cold wank".
Dude A: I was so bored last night, I had some processed meat.

Dude B: Ah man, unlucky.
Processed meat by shaneo632 October 4, 2008
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processed meat 

Oral gratification of a man's genitalia. Getting Head. Receiving a blowjob.
I was in the back room gettin some processed meat by this one bitch.

She's hella good, she'll process yo meat my nigguh.
processed meat by stray bullitts January 16, 2009

pressed meat sandwich 

That ex girlfriend that you know is toxic. But she comes around... it’s getting smashed
That Jenny is a real pressed meat sandwich.

meat processor 

I hooked up with Jill last night. Every guy gets a turn inside that meat processor.
meat processor by P1624 April 28, 2023

funiosity 

The art of being peculiar, but in an amusing fashion.
"Wow, look at that dog running on three legs"
- "Yeah, that sure is a funiosity"
funiosity by Supersonic Stevie November 23, 2007
Word of the Day on July 25, 2026
A toe rag was originally a foot wrapping used, since mediaeval times up until the mid-nineteenth century, to protect the foot from chafing by boots or shoes. As these were, quite literally, rags they weren’t usually washed, and so with use they became very smelly until they were thrown away. Because of the similarity in smell, toe rag also became the name applied to dried, salted cod or other things with a strong, unpleasant, fishy smell. It didn’t take that long before the name was applied to someone who was an obnoxious, unpleasant OIC.
1 “Socks! Those aren’t socks you smelly git, they’re toe rags!”
2 “What have you been cooking? Smells like toe rag!”
3 “I can smell ‘er fanny from ‘ere, proper toe rag.”
4 That Heale Malcolm is a right toe rag.
Toe Rag by AKACroatalin November 29, 2016
Word of the Day on July 24, 2026

Eternity leave 

When some resigns or retires from a job, they are on "eternity leave". This can also refer to someone who has passed away, especially someone who worked somewhere for a long time, retired/resigned, then passed away later.
Oh I'm sorry, you didn't know that Kelly is on eternity leave? She resigned and moved to Hawaii!

With regrets I would like to inform you that my boss is officially on eternity leave. I will never see or hear them again. Ever.
Eternity leave by LingDanc803 February 7, 2023
Word of the Day on July 23, 2026