The Friends of Pluto is a organization created by the Church of Scientology and dedicated to the idea that Pluto is the so-called "Clear Planet". They strive tirelessly to found missions to the dwarf planet, to research its cold and icy wastes, to plunge to very pith of its being and to sell a collection of pro-Pluto propaganda videos titled Pluto: Paradise!
The Friends were created in 1907 by a clandestine CIA-funded project known as Xenulogy (not to be confused with the study of Xena). Literally millions of dollars was poured into recruiting members, building elaborate secret fortresses beneath Washington, DC, developing the popular series of Pamphlets so beloved by Americans even today and finally by outfitting the ill-fated Plutonian Expedition to the South Pole. By 1915, the Xenulogists controlled both houses of Congress, 7 of 9 members of the Supreme Court and had created a robotic version of Woodrow Wilson that failed due to a lack of decent batteries. Fortunately (or unfortunately for some), World War I brought their reign of terror to an end when a coalition of nations banded together to stop "Those Yankee Haters", as they were known. They pooled their funds and built an elaborate series of telescopes to study the most-distant planet. Their efforts were thwarted initially as Pluto had not actually been discovered yet. However, defeat turned to victory as the Xenulogists realized that it was logically impossible for them to exist before the discovery of the planet they were dedicated to, and quietly disbanded.
The Friends rose again shortly after World War II, but were struck and killed instantly by an asteroid. Each successive incarnation has likewise been struck and killed. Nevertheless, Pluto: Paradise! is still a best-seller and their influence extends much further than anyone gives them credit for.
The Friends were created in 1907 by a clandestine CIA-funded project known as Xenulogy (not to be confused with the study of Xena). Literally millions of dollars was poured into recruiting members, building elaborate secret fortresses beneath Washington, DC, developing the popular series of Pamphlets so beloved by Americans even today and finally by outfitting the ill-fated Plutonian Expedition to the South Pole. By 1915, the Xenulogists controlled both houses of Congress, 7 of 9 members of the Supreme Court and had created a robotic version of Woodrow Wilson that failed due to a lack of decent batteries. Fortunately (or unfortunately for some), World War I brought their reign of terror to an end when a coalition of nations banded together to stop "Those Yankee Haters", as they were known. They pooled their funds and built an elaborate series of telescopes to study the most-distant planet. Their efforts were thwarted initially as Pluto had not actually been discovered yet. However, defeat turned to victory as the Xenulogists realized that it was logically impossible for them to exist before the discovery of the planet they were dedicated to, and quietly disbanded.
The Friends rose again shortly after World War II, but were struck and killed instantly by an asteroid. Each successive incarnation has likewise been struck and killed. Nevertheless, Pluto: Paradise! is still a best-seller and their influence extends much further than anyone gives them credit for.
The Friends of Pluto are believed to be behind the reclassification of Pluto as a dwarf planet, for nefarious reasons only known to them.
by Kodiac1 December 09, 2006
WTF (Windows Text File) is a plain-text file format developed by Microsoft. It is intended for storing text information in readable form. Many users report problems opening it, because most systems don't know what to do with the .wtf file extension. The resulting error messsage "WTF? Unknown file extension!" is widely known. The chat acronym WTF is commonly used to signify uncertainty or unpleasant surprise.
As part of Microsoft's effort to develop free, open, user-friendly software environments, it is constantly improving file formats. After WMV (Windows Media Video) and (WMA - Windows Media Audio), it published proposals for WMP (Windows Media Picture) and WTF (Windows Text File) in May, 2006.
"WTF?" is the usual response by many users, who are not sure how Microsoft intends to compete with TXT format. Microsoft's release timeline calls for the TXT format to be made obsolete within months, by disallowing Windows Vista to open .txt files.
As part of Microsoft's effort to develop free, open, user-friendly software environments, it is constantly improving file formats. After WMV (Windows Media Video) and (WMA - Windows Media Audio), it published proposals for WMP (Windows Media Picture) and WTF (Windows Text File) in May, 2006.
"WTF?" is the usual response by many users, who are not sure how Microsoft intends to compete with TXT format. Microsoft's release timeline calls for the TXT format to be made obsolete within months, by disallowing Windows Vista to open .txt files.
System Requirements
* '$30.00' license fee for usage
* Cheese grater
* 76 IQ maximum (any more and KERNEL32 takes a dive)
wtf
* '$30.00' license fee for usage
* Cheese grater
* 76 IQ maximum (any more and KERNEL32 takes a dive)
wtf
by Kodiac1 December 11, 2006
The Dollar Tree is a rare tree found in
* Bill Gates' backyard
* The White House
* Kentucky
* Sims 2
It will grow you FREE money. On occasion, it will grow crappy merchendise such as plastic food. The seeds will be found in certain parts of Ireland. How do you think leprichauns get so many pots of gold? Yeah... Dollar Trees.
The Dollar Tree grows only in the warm climate of Kentucky or special patches which have been discovered by special people like Bill Gates. It is required to be watered five times a week and must be feed with a mixture of ground credit cards and crumbled checks. Mix it in with ground diamond powder. Wash, rince, repeat. After about a month, the tree will be fully grown. When harvested, the money you make will be $1,000,000. After a few years, you will be as rich as Bill Gates and possibly even have 99.9999999999999% of all the money in the world! Bad seasons will replace all of the money with crappy toys and stuff. There is a legend of a company who likes to steal the stuff and sell it in retail stores all over the USA! But there has been no evidence of this. and did you know... that dollar trees are incredibly well known in us
Fun Facts
* This is where money gets the green color
* Special edition Dollar Trees will give you gold!
* Slightly less special trees will give you silver.
* the doller tree is related to cotton, and jeans.
* Bill Gates' backyard
* The White House
* Kentucky
* Sims 2
It will grow you FREE money. On occasion, it will grow crappy merchendise such as plastic food. The seeds will be found in certain parts of Ireland. How do you think leprichauns get so many pots of gold? Yeah... Dollar Trees.
The Dollar Tree grows only in the warm climate of Kentucky or special patches which have been discovered by special people like Bill Gates. It is required to be watered five times a week and must be feed with a mixture of ground credit cards and crumbled checks. Mix it in with ground diamond powder. Wash, rince, repeat. After about a month, the tree will be fully grown. When harvested, the money you make will be $1,000,000. After a few years, you will be as rich as Bill Gates and possibly even have 99.9999999999999% of all the money in the world! Bad seasons will replace all of the money with crappy toys and stuff. There is a legend of a company who likes to steal the stuff and sell it in retail stores all over the USA! But there has been no evidence of this. and did you know... that dollar trees are incredibly well known in us
Fun Facts
* This is where money gets the green color
* Special edition Dollar Trees will give you gold!
* Slightly less special trees will give you silver.
* the doller tree is related to cotton, and jeans.
by kodiac1 July 04, 2006
7-11 is the historical name ascribed to the most prevalent naturally occuring inconvenience store. Known since antiquity, 7-11 has become the world's foremost purveyor of toxically unhealthy processed food products. Also notable are the frictionless tile floors and the uniformly East Indian service staff.
7-11 has been a recognized natural phenomenon since the dawn of recorded history.
It is believed that the 7-11 was a natural evolution of the 7-10, a prehistoric herd animal. 7-10 were common when the entire landmass of Earth was concentrated into one supercontinent, Pangaea. Herds of 7-10 freely roamed the continent, having only one natural predator - the Chuck Norris. The massive evolutionary strain induced by such a formidable foe necessitated a new evolutionary strategy.
The first 7-11 was created by a confluence of the superintelligent East Indians and a herd of 7-10. This new symbiotic strategy proved successful - so successful, in fact, that individual members could survive without the protection of the herd. 7-11 spread to every corner of the supercontinent before the famed breakup of Pangaea (actually caused by one of Chuck Norris' temper tantrums) and so were located around the planet when humans showed up some hundreds of millions of years later.
The influence of the 7-11 on humanity has been tremendous. Former hunter/gatherer societies, upon finding a cluster of 7-11, would settle there rather than continuing their nomadic lifestyle. With the relief of the burden of constantly searching for food, humans were free to develop other primitive activities, such as religion and the killing of innocent people. It is at this point in history that we see the first evidence of Norris worship, including human sacrifice and execution by roundhouse kicking. The first cities developed around herds of 7-11, and wars were common between those who had access to 7-11 and those who did not have such privilege.
7-11 has been a recognized natural phenomenon since the dawn of recorded history.
It is believed that the 7-11 was a natural evolution of the 7-10, a prehistoric herd animal. 7-10 were common when the entire landmass of Earth was concentrated into one supercontinent, Pangaea. Herds of 7-10 freely roamed the continent, having only one natural predator - the Chuck Norris. The massive evolutionary strain induced by such a formidable foe necessitated a new evolutionary strategy.
The first 7-11 was created by a confluence of the superintelligent East Indians and a herd of 7-10. This new symbiotic strategy proved successful - so successful, in fact, that individual members could survive without the protection of the herd. 7-11 spread to every corner of the supercontinent before the famed breakup of Pangaea (actually caused by one of Chuck Norris' temper tantrums) and so were located around the planet when humans showed up some hundreds of millions of years later.
The influence of the 7-11 on humanity has been tremendous. Former hunter/gatherer societies, upon finding a cluster of 7-11, would settle there rather than continuing their nomadic lifestyle. With the relief of the burden of constantly searching for food, humans were free to develop other primitive activities, such as religion and the killing of innocent people. It is at this point in history that we see the first evidence of Norris worship, including human sacrifice and execution by roundhouse kicking. The first cities developed around herds of 7-11, and wars were common between those who had access to 7-11 and those who did not have such privilege.
by kodiac1 July 04, 2006
John McCain (Born June 19th, 2086) is an American politican, God and time traveling warrior.
John McCain was genetically engineered in an American Research Facility. Unlike normal humans, McCain contains bodily many organs which allow him to fly, shoot lasers from his eyes, and amass incredible amounts of strength. McCain's skin produced a special layer of transparent nacho cheese, allowing him to time travel without damaging his body or the space time continuum.
McCain attended West Point, where he killed fitty Notre Dame fans at a football game. Because he was soo cool, President Jack Lambert granted him a pardon, and made him Secretary of keeping it real. While there, we was deployed on a secret mission to infiltrate the Soviet Union III. While there, he stripped the sacred burrito from the hands of Josef Stalin and ran it for a 50 yard touch down return. As McCain devoured the burrito, he became immortal, and banished the ghost of George W. Bush from existence with his mind.
As McCain returned to the United States, he was promoted to Arch Duke of Arizona. While there, one of his servants, Adolf Hitler traveled to 1902 and managed to take over the world. Because Adolf was not certified to do this, s a rip in the space time continuum began to slowy destroy the world. McCain warped back to past in pursuit of Hitler, and pwned him. As McCain was about to put Hitler in the Scorpion death-lock, Hitler managed to throw Sand in McCain's eyes and ran away to Germany.
While he was in the past, he killed twenty fundamentalistsand made thier children eat his shit. Never the less, McCain's battle with Hitler had drained his powers, leaving him incapable of escaping from the past for awhile.
While in old Arizona, McCain killed an entire family with his toes, and seized thier home. While claiming residency there, McCain went to war, won a bunch of medals, became a hero, scored with a bunch of really hot girls, and eventually became senator. In 1982, McCain's powers had fully recharged. Although he was eager to return back to the year 21st Century, he realized that he needed to stay, and protect Nachos and porno.
After forseeing the Notre Dame Football team taking over the world, McCain, Thurgood Marshall, and Brian Urlacher traveled forward in time (because all of them pwned they didn't have to worry about all that space time shit). While in the future they struck down all the Notre Dame players, who were armed with Uzis, usinh only their bare hands. Following thier victory, they went back to the present, and smoked up with Zakk Wylde.
John McCain was genetically engineered in an American Research Facility. Unlike normal humans, McCain contains bodily many organs which allow him to fly, shoot lasers from his eyes, and amass incredible amounts of strength. McCain's skin produced a special layer of transparent nacho cheese, allowing him to time travel without damaging his body or the space time continuum.
McCain attended West Point, where he killed fitty Notre Dame fans at a football game. Because he was soo cool, President Jack Lambert granted him a pardon, and made him Secretary of keeping it real. While there, we was deployed on a secret mission to infiltrate the Soviet Union III. While there, he stripped the sacred burrito from the hands of Josef Stalin and ran it for a 50 yard touch down return. As McCain devoured the burrito, he became immortal, and banished the ghost of George W. Bush from existence with his mind.
As McCain returned to the United States, he was promoted to Arch Duke of Arizona. While there, one of his servants, Adolf Hitler traveled to 1902 and managed to take over the world. Because Adolf was not certified to do this, s a rip in the space time continuum began to slowy destroy the world. McCain warped back to past in pursuit of Hitler, and pwned him. As McCain was about to put Hitler in the Scorpion death-lock, Hitler managed to throw Sand in McCain's eyes and ran away to Germany.
While he was in the past, he killed twenty fundamentalistsand made thier children eat his shit. Never the less, McCain's battle with Hitler had drained his powers, leaving him incapable of escaping from the past for awhile.
While in old Arizona, McCain killed an entire family with his toes, and seized thier home. While claiming residency there, McCain went to war, won a bunch of medals, became a hero, scored with a bunch of really hot girls, and eventually became senator. In 1982, McCain's powers had fully recharged. Although he was eager to return back to the year 21st Century, he realized that he needed to stay, and protect Nachos and porno.
After forseeing the Notre Dame Football team taking over the world, McCain, Thurgood Marshall, and Brian Urlacher traveled forward in time (because all of them pwned they didn't have to worry about all that space time shit). While in the future they struck down all the Notre Dame players, who were armed with Uzis, usinh only their bare hands. Following thier victory, they went back to the present, and smoked up with Zakk Wylde.
by kodiac1 July 06, 2006
Scandinavia was a conspiracy theory developed by the Soviets in the 1640s. The only parties falling for this April's Day prank were Sweden, Norway and John Kerry. Denmark, Iceland and Finland have often been accused of being part of Scandinavia, but they deny these allegations. Denmark says that they were just playing along and knew all along that it was just a joke.
The Soviet government claimed that Scandinavia was a happy group of countries that did not want to be part of the Cold War or any major global political decision. Early membership benefits included free health care and education without oppressive government. Not to be outdone by commies, USA founded Canada.
After the fall of the Berlin wall, western historians were given access to the Soviet plans of this conspiracy. Later it was revealed that the initial plans were written on a dirty napkin from Hard Rock Cafe in Paris, France.
On most maps, Scandinavia appears as a large nut sack teabagging Europe. Scandinavia's major exports are porn, Volvos and sex-change operations. Major imports are Sun, bikinis and early episodes of MacGyver.
The Soviet government claimed that Scandinavia was a happy group of countries that did not want to be part of the Cold War or any major global political decision. Early membership benefits included free health care and education without oppressive government. Not to be outdone by commies, USA founded Canada.
After the fall of the Berlin wall, western historians were given access to the Soviet plans of this conspiracy. Later it was revealed that the initial plans were written on a dirty napkin from Hard Rock Cafe in Paris, France.
On most maps, Scandinavia appears as a large nut sack teabagging Europe. Scandinavia's major exports are porn, Volvos and sex-change operations. Major imports are Sun, bikinis and early episodes of MacGyver.
by kodiac1 July 05, 2006
American Jokes are jokes which are not made in America. Yet, these jokes can be made in America, but apart from America, they can also be made in China, Hong Kong SAR, Indonesia, Ethiopia, North Pole, Mars, Venus, Jupiter, the Sun...... wherever place you can think of which allow people to live. American Jokes are simply abbreviated as "AJ", which, obviously, comes from its original name American Joke.
So how did American Jokes become jokes? Once upon a time, there was a place named Quality College where students were capable of making very bad jokes. Those jokes are definitely totally utterly not funny at all, but students just loved making those cold jokes. One day, someone suddenly gave these bad jokes a name, AMERICAN JOKE.
It was rumoured that the term American Joke was invented by a student named "Sir iohC niwdE". Such a term was efficiently spread away by another fellow "A ginM", "maL noraA", "eeL ynneB" and "nhoJ osT". They are the founders of the "American Joke Society" (abbr. AJs), which is one of the biggest AJ as well.
Recently, the rumour was proved to be false. Yet, the rumour still remains to be one of the top AJ recently.
That is why these jokes are called American Jokes nowadays. But in fact no one can really explain how America is connected to those Jokes, or since when has American become a joke. Anyway, the name itself demonstrates the true meaning of the American Joke. It is that, a joke which is expected to be a joke, a joke which is formally a joke, a joke which is supposed to make others laugh, but at the end not being so "joky" as expected at all. Do you find the term American Joke a joke?
However, as students were becoming lazier and lazier, they eventually found the term American Joke too clumsy to pronunce. Instead, they gave this term another shorter version: simply known as AJ. Due to the simplicity of such a term and its effectiveness in preventing people from producing endless meaningless non-interesting yet troublesome dead-airing cold jokes, it was quickly spread among the community that nowadays every one knows about "AJ".
So how did American Jokes become jokes? Once upon a time, there was a place named Quality College where students were capable of making very bad jokes. Those jokes are definitely totally utterly not funny at all, but students just loved making those cold jokes. One day, someone suddenly gave these bad jokes a name, AMERICAN JOKE.
It was rumoured that the term American Joke was invented by a student named "Sir iohC niwdE". Such a term was efficiently spread away by another fellow "A ginM", "maL noraA", "eeL ynneB" and "nhoJ osT". They are the founders of the "American Joke Society" (abbr. AJs), which is one of the biggest AJ as well.
Recently, the rumour was proved to be false. Yet, the rumour still remains to be one of the top AJ recently.
That is why these jokes are called American Jokes nowadays. But in fact no one can really explain how America is connected to those Jokes, or since when has American become a joke. Anyway, the name itself demonstrates the true meaning of the American Joke. It is that, a joke which is expected to be a joke, a joke which is formally a joke, a joke which is supposed to make others laugh, but at the end not being so "joky" as expected at all. Do you find the term American Joke a joke?
However, as students were becoming lazier and lazier, they eventually found the term American Joke too clumsy to pronunce. Instead, they gave this term another shorter version: simply known as AJ. Due to the simplicity of such a term and its effectiveness in preventing people from producing endless meaningless non-interesting yet troublesome dead-airing cold jokes, it was quickly spread among the community that nowadays every one knows about "AJ".
Here are some practical daily examples of American Joke:
1. "American Jokes are good jokes."
2. "Fine, thank you."
"You too."
"You three."
"You four five six seven eight......"
3. "Today I accidentally crashed into John and BJ."
"Oh really? Does it hurt?"
4. "John, congratulations for winning the champion. You are now the Macau Shooting Star!"
"Macau Shooting Star? Does that mean I can shoot stars in Macau? How do I shoot them?"
5. "BJ who is a DJ loves AJ."
There are too many examples to be named. Please be kind to add in your own version of American Jokes and they better are your own creations. The world of American Jokes should not contain any boundary.
1. "American Jokes are good jokes."
2. "Fine, thank you."
"You too."
"You three."
"You four five six seven eight......"
3. "Today I accidentally crashed into John and BJ."
"Oh really? Does it hurt?"
4. "John, congratulations for winning the champion. You are now the Macau Shooting Star!"
"Macau Shooting Star? Does that mean I can shoot stars in Macau? How do I shoot them?"
5. "BJ who is a DJ loves AJ."
There are too many examples to be named. Please be kind to add in your own version of American Jokes and they better are your own creations. The world of American Jokes should not contain any boundary.
by kodiac1 July 04, 2006