An appliance used by fat security guards for keeping all the food responsible for maintaining their waistline above 50 inches. To anyone else who has access to it its a repository for steaming piles of shit.
Pork Scotch (opening the Pork Scotch Fridge): Dear God what's that smell!
Maybe your food's gone off.
Pork Scotch: Someone's put a bag of shit in my fridge!
I saw some niggers hanging round earlier.
Pork Scotch: I'll kill 'em all!
Maybe your food's gone off.
Pork Scotch: Someone's put a bag of shit in my fridge!
I saw some niggers hanging round earlier.
Pork Scotch: I'll kill 'em all!
by Kenny Spoffo-Grumpbeetle August 20, 2009
An old man with 2 walking sticks who is such a genius he can walk at a 90 degree angle. He leaves his home once a day to display his unique talent to the envious world under the pretext of going to post a letter.
Who is West Bridgford's finest athlete?
That'll be Alf Trolleydocker, the 90 degree genius.
Where did he get his walk from?
I believe he got it from a corner shop.
That'll be Alf Trolleydocker, the 90 degree genius.
Where did he get his walk from?
I believe he got it from a corner shop.
by Kenny Spoffo-Grumpbeetle August 17, 2009
Who's the goofy cow taking a shit in the white van?
That's the girlfriend of the Porky Scotcher.
Fucking ugly bitch.
That's the girlfriend of the Porky Scotcher.
Fucking ugly bitch.
by Kenny Spoffo-Grumpbeetle May 16, 2009
A snot-coloured hi-viz jacket worn by fat ugly security guards who are terrified of rain. The Pork Scotch Jacket will be worn whatever the weather because the slightest bit of rain is a complete catastrophe to the fat bastard who cries himself to sleep wishing he was back in South Africa where his boyfriends live.
What's this fat old twat wearing? Looks like an overcoat made of snot.
Its a Pork Scotch Jacket. Although its a hundred degrees in the shade there's still a chance a drop of rain might come along to ruin the fat ugly bastard's year.
Its a Pork Scotch Jacket. Although its a hundred degrees in the shade there's still a chance a drop of rain might come along to ruin the fat ugly bastard's year.
by Kenny Spoffo-Grumpbeetle August 06, 2009
The token midget at every Asda store. They are employed not only to pacify the Equal Opportunities brigade but also because they're really good at getting tins that have rolled under the shelves.
Dad, why is that little boy working on the checkout?
That's no boy, that's the Asda midget. Every store has one.
That's no boy, that's the Asda midget. Every store has one.
by Kenny Spoffo-Grumpbeetle August 17, 2009
Monkus: Dad! Klingon alert!
Dad: Don't worry, its only Daniel Lumphead. Its David the Grunting Spacker you need to worry about.
Monkus: Shit, this place is full of retards.
Dad: Don't worry, its only Daniel Lumphead. Its David the Grunting Spacker you need to worry about.
Monkus: Shit, this place is full of retards.
by Kenny Spoffo-Grumpbeetle June 19, 2009
An annual competition to determine the world's most boring person. Won for the last 4 years by Fishy MacSwell who impressed the judges with his droopy old face, boring Pork Scotch Trousers and his insistence on having a barbecue every day of his pointless fucking life.
Kibbles: What are all those trophies for?
Trace: They're the Porky Scotcher's. He's won the World Championship of Boringness for the last 4 years.
Trace: They're the Porky Scotcher's. He's won the World Championship of Boringness for the last 4 years.
by kenny spoffo-grumpbeetle May 24, 2009