kenny spoffo-grumpbeetle's definitions
An appliance used by fat security guards for keeping all the food responsible for maintaining their waistline above 50 inches. To anyone else who has access to it its a repository for steaming piles of shit.
Pork Scotch (opening the Pork Scotch Fridge): Dear God what's that smell!
Maybe your food's gone off.
Pork Scotch: Someone's put a bag of shit in my fridge!
I saw some niggers hanging round earlier.
Pork Scotch: I'll kill 'em all!
Maybe your food's gone off.
Pork Scotch: Someone's put a bag of shit in my fridge!
I saw some niggers hanging round earlier.
Pork Scotch: I'll kill 'em all!
by Kenny Spoffo-Grumpbeetle August 20, 2009
Get the Pork Scotch Fridge mug.An old man with 2 walking sticks who is such a genius he can walk at a 90 degree angle. He leaves his home once a day to display his unique talent to the envious world under the pretext of going to post a letter.
Who is West Bridgford's finest athlete?
That'll be Alf Trolleydocker, the 90 degree genius.
Where did he get his walk from?
I believe he got it from a corner shop.
That'll be Alf Trolleydocker, the 90 degree genius.
Where did he get his walk from?
I believe he got it from a corner shop.
by Kenny Spoffo-Grumpbeetle August 17, 2009
Get the Alf Trolleydocker mug.The token midget at every Asda store. They are employed not only to pacify the Equal Opportunities brigade but also because they're really good at getting tins that have rolled under the shelves.
Dad, why is that little boy working on the checkout?
That's no boy, that's the Asda midget. Every store has one.
That's no boy, that's the Asda midget. Every store has one.
by Kenny Spoffo-Grumpbeetle August 17, 2009
Get the Asda midget mug.A snot-coloured hi-viz jacket worn by fat ugly security guards who are terrified of rain. The Pork Scotch Jacket will be worn whatever the weather because the slightest bit of rain is a complete catastrophe to the fat bastard who cries himself to sleep wishing he was back in South Africa where his boyfriends live.
What's this fat old twat wearing? Looks like an overcoat made of snot.
Its a Pork Scotch Jacket. Although its a hundred degrees in the shade there's still a chance a drop of rain might come along to ruin the fat ugly bastard's year.
Its a Pork Scotch Jacket. Although its a hundred degrees in the shade there's still a chance a drop of rain might come along to ruin the fat ugly bastard's year.
by Kenny Spoffo-Grumpbeetle August 6, 2009
Get the Pork Scotch Jacket mug.A barbecue made out of a rusty barrel cut in half. Also known as a Pork Scotch Oven this shitty type of barbecue is most commonly used by little fat men with horrifically ugly girlfriends.
Thought you said the little twat had a barbecue.
Its over there, look. A half-barrel barbecue. Its a barbecue for complete losers.
Its over there, look. A half-barrel barbecue. Its a barbecue for complete losers.
by Kenny Spoffo-Grumpbeetle August 6, 2009
Get the Half-barrel barbecue mug.A type of constipation, the medical condition which results when Nogtard gorges himself on Sargent's apple pies and Hill biscuits. The obese Nogster loves all shitty biscuits and pies and has been known to feast on them for 6 hours at a stretch. The nogstipation can last up to a week. When it comes to an end and the fat retard eventually manages a dump the result can be explosive, not even the toughest porcelain being able to contain a mighty nogdump. Nogtard's legendary dumping exploits result in him getting through an average of 12 bogs per year. Roughly once a month the broken bogs are left in his front garden ready for removal to the nearest Maltby lorry.
Quick, phone the fire brigade, Nogtard's house has just blown up.
Don't panic, its probably Nogtard having a dump. He's had Nogstipation for the last week.
Don't panic, its probably Nogtard having a dump. He's had Nogstipation for the last week.
by Kenny Spoffo-Grumpbeetle August 5, 2009
Get the Nogstipation mug.The bin in which Nogtard's bog was dumped by the Rogue Maltbyite. When the bog was discovered by Monk and Mick the dumpster stank to high heaven because of Nogtard's disgusting shits.
Monk: Are we going to get Nogtard's Bog out of the Maltby Dumpster?
Mick: Yes we have to. The Rogue Maltbyite must be beaten. We'll put it back on the Maltby Lorry with a new sign attached to it.
Mick: Yes we have to. The Rogue Maltbyite must be beaten. We'll put it back on the Maltby Lorry with a new sign attached to it.
by kenny spoffo-grumpbeetle August 4, 2009
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