DUI

(Dee'-you-aye) mod english, punctuation omitted, n., 1) a substiute for a powerful sports car; 2) substitute for racing lessons; 3) a driving technique, esp., for middle aged white men who "drive better drunk than most people do sober" that is useful in getting home before the wife figures out that you're porking the secretary.
One the forth DUI, you might get to be some niggaz bitch!
by Hoze April 24, 2004
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shitwig

A tenured Economics professor.
Pretrial discovery is beginning -- have we hired a shitwig yet?
by hoze November 23, 2003
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Pastor

Pass-tor (n) middle english 1) an ignorant sonofabitch with a Bass boat; 2) a letch who gropes the loins and lucious breasts of Sunday school girls; 3) a man of god who doesn't file income tax returns; and 4) all of the above.
The new pastor porked all the deacon's daughters.
by hoze August 12, 2004
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buick

A big hunking sonofabitch that gets about four miles to the gallon. Your mom and dad were likely conceived on the back seat of a Buick at a drive-in movie. Double cousins with a Oldsmobile, the Buick is the ride of choice of "Hoss" a gentleman who makes a tidy living bashing his Buick lengthwise through a variety of trailers, each of which he claims belongs to Tanya Hardings. He usually busts off a concussion granade when he hits the trailer, but in a way, that's poetic license. Think about it, fucker.
Wouldn't you really rather have a Buick? FUCK NO!!!!
by Hoze April 24, 2004
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ass breath

The breath of a vegetarian. They sit around smuggly odering carrot juice and similar shit, thinking that they're the cat's meow, when in fact, you could weld with their breath.
He: This Volvo was owned by a Professor.

She: How do you know?

He: can't you smell the ass breath?
by Hoze December 20, 2004
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trailer

A place to take your secretary at lunch.
¿Ño, Enrique -- can I borrow your trailer again, por fa-fucking-vor?
by hoze November 23, 2003
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Mazda

A Jap car company that has stubbornly hung with Dr. Oskermyer Weiner Wankel's rotary engine for decades longer than makes any sense. The early RX7's wheezed out about 31 horse power and produced less torque than a kid on a rocking horse. The last ones weren't much better, and did miserably in the marketplace. Equipped with more plumbing than Staten Island, rotaries can be made to made quite a few horse power for quite a few seconds. Their dying, although not worth the price of admission, is one resounding clunk followed by a colossal wheeze and a final fart. It musta taken some fantastic Gheshia blowjobs to persuade Ford to piss away millions on the latest incarnation of the would-up rubber band sounding rotary. Even mazda had sense enough to put pistons in the vast majority of their cars. Still, there's a few, very few, persnicketdy old fucks who want something inefficient and queer and Mazda's got every one of 'em in the bag.
Is that a cloud of cicadias I hear or did some queer turd just drive by in a Mazda?
by Hoze December 23, 2004
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