Hoze's definitions

ass breath

The breath of a vegetarian. They sit around smuggly odering carrot juice and similar shit, thinking that they're the cat's meow, when in fact, you could weld with their breath.

He: This Volvo was owned by a Professor.

She: How do you know?

He: can't you smell the ass breath?

by Hoze December 20, 2004

trailer

A place to take your secretary at lunch.

¿Ño, Enrique -- can I borrow your trailer again, por fa-fucking-vor?

by hoze November 23, 2003

Pastor

Pass-tor (n) middle english 1) an ignorant sonofabitch with a Bass boat; 2) a letch who gropes the loins and lucious breasts of Sunday school girls; 3) a man of god who doesn't file income tax returns; and 4) all of the above.

The new pastor porked all the deacon's daughters.

by hoze August 11, 2004

Richard Gere

When Hollywood wants to make yet another chick flick and doesn't want to pay for talent (why would you in a chick flick) Gere's name comes right up.

Director Hoib Goldbaum: "Say, lets make a movie with a mindless plot with shameless exploitation of every human emotion, depicting a lapdog husband under the control of a beautiful middle aged soccer mom who dresses well and has suspicously young children with fake southern accents."

Producer Sol Horowitz: "So you don't think Gere's already working?"

Goldbaum: "Working? Yeah, he's working with a gerbil!"

by Hoze December 25, 2004

shitwig

A tenured Economics professor.

Pretrial discovery is beginning -- have we hired a shitwig yet?

by hoze November 23, 2003

buick

A big hunking sonofabitch that gets about four miles to the gallon. Your mom and dad were likely conceived on the back seat of a Buick at a drive-in movie. Double cousins with a Oldsmobile, the Buick is the ride of choice of "Hoss" a gentleman who makes a tidy living bashing his Buick lengthwise through a variety of trailers, each of which he claims belongs to Tanya Hardings. He usually busts off a concussion granade when he hits the trailer, but in a way, that's poetic license. Think about it, fucker.

Wouldn't you really rather have a Buick? FUCK NO!!!!

by Hoze April 24, 2004

finger

Digits of the human hand that during courtship (with any luck) small lkie fish.

Knock-knock. "Who's there?" Wilma. "Wilma who?" Wilma finger do until I get my pants off.

by hoze October 25, 2004