Hoze's definitions

shitwig

A tenured Economics professor.

Pretrial discovery is beginning -- have we hired a shitwig yet?

by hoze November 23, 2003

Pastor

Pass-tor (n) middle english 1) an ignorant sonofabitch with a Bass boat; 2) a letch who gropes the loins and lucious breasts of Sunday school girls; 3) a man of god who doesn't file income tax returns; and 4) all of the above.

The new pastor porked all the deacon's daughters.

by hoze August 11, 2004

trailer

A place to take your secretary at lunch.

¿Ño, Enrique -- can I borrow your trailer again, por fa-fucking-vor?

by hoze November 23, 2003

ass breath

The breath of a vegetarian. They sit around smuggly odering carrot juice and similar shit, thinking that they're the cat's meow, when in fact, you could weld with their breath.

He: This Volvo was owned by a Professor.

She: How do you know?

He: can't you smell the ass breath?

by Hoze December 20, 2004

Ducati

A motorcycle sought out by pretentious assholes who prefer wine to Jack Daniels. They hope that the Ducati is a conspicuous indicator of their riding ability along with their Victoria's Secret color coordinated soft leather suits. Unfortunately, the Duc, on the rare instances it will run, is a badge and incident of a lame ass pretender who knows absolutely nothing about motorcyles. They are made by a filthy subspecies of European -- the only ones on the continent who admired the fucking Nazi's.

A gay bar is to a Ducati like a bright light is to a bug.

by Hoze December 17, 2004

God

A clever old Jewish bastard who gets credit for all the good stuff, but eludes the blame for all the bad shit.

"When the tornado blew our trailer all the way to Pascagoula, thank God none of us was killed." WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK FUCKED UP YOUR TRAILER, YOU STUPID CRACKER-ASS BITCH???????????

by Hoze April 23, 2004

finger

Digits of the human hand that during courtship (with any luck) small lkie fish.

Knock-knock. "Who's there?" Wilma. "Wilma who?" Wilma finger do until I get my pants off.

by hoze October 25, 2004