dookeyboy's definitions

telethon

a televised donor call-in event wherein the sponsors keep 75% of the proceeds to line their own pockets, 20% is allocated for administrative costs, and the remaining 5% is given to the charity in question

Dude, I don't have cable and there's nothing on network TV tonight except this fuckin' telethon.

by dookeyboy November 24, 2010

paranormal

clothing that is fashionable/en vogue

Boy, you lookin' like a foo' witcha pants on da ground! Take dem off and put on a paranormal ones!

by dookeyboy November 16, 2010

scampede

A devious Black Friday scam perpetrated by department and electronics stores whereby offering especially low prices on a limited number of goods causes an asscrack of dawn stampede of desperate shoppers.

Most of these suckers are either injured, killed, or simply not fast enough to get in on the good deals, but nevertheless fall into the store trap of maxing out multiple credit cards because they are already there.

My uncle Ray was almost killed in a scampede at BestMacy's CostPlus TargetMart, but he managed to survive with nothing more than a fractured vertebrae while still securing his $.99 Acme toaster.

by dookeyboy March 19, 2011

crimeshoppers

a group of shoplifters who hold regular meetings to discuss and plan their next series of heists

This holiday season, retail outlets are hiring extra security to combat the expected increase in crimeshoppers.

by dookeyboy November 23, 2010

museum

something human beings clearly saw at some point in time but is now extinct

Now museum, now you don't.

by dookeyboy November 16, 2010

jackwagon

a crybaby loser pussy-type who needs to grow some cajones and start acting like a man

Billy: "Dude, I can't get Ronnie to play tackle football with us 'cause he's too afraid of getting hit."

Jimmy: "It doesn't surprise me, he's always been a fuckin' jackwagon anyway."

by dookeyboy November 25, 2010

Palintology

The future science and study of the bones of Sarah Palin and all animal forms she once embodied in the early 21st century.

See also Mooselini, Gorilla from Wasilla, mama grizzly, and Caribou Barbie.

A hundred years from now many prominent universities around the globe will offer courses on Palintology.

by dookeyboy November 22, 2010