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dookeyboy's definitions

gas and match

to burn someone's possessions, usually out of anger or spite
Man, you see Marcus on da news in his drawlz wit' his house on fire?! I told him if he got caught creepin' that his lady would gas and match his shit, and sure enough I was right!
by dookeyboy November 23, 2010
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Wasillabeast

In the book of Tea Bag of the Neocon bible, the coming totalitarianistic ruler expected to usher in the New World Order, thereby ridding the earth of gotcha journalism and all liberals.

Suspected to have already appeared on Faux News numerous times while awaiting the prophesied time to reveal itself completely.

See also Mooselini, Caribou Barbie, mama grizzly, and Gorilla from Wasilla.
Yup... earthquakes, famine, floods, implant chips... all the signs point to the revelation of Wasillabeast any time now.
by dookeyboy November 24, 2010
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Cancer Man

On the TV show "The X-Files," Fox Mulder's cigarette-smoking, shadowy, primary nemesis throughout the show's run from 1993 - 2002.

Whenever he appeared he was always either smoking, lighting up, rudely blowing smoke in someone's face, or putting out one of his trademark "Morley" cigarettes.

He may have headed up Federal agencies such as the FBI, CIA, and NSA, and he was apparently responsible for the abduction of Mulder's sister and was potentially their actual biological father. He also apparently had some role in almost every government conspiracy/coverup dating back at least as far as the 1947 Roswell, NM extraterrestrial incident.

His real name was finally revealed to be "C.G.B. Spender" in the 6th season of the show.
Mulder: "Tell me where they've taken Scully, you black-lunged son-of-a-bitch!"

Cancer Man (while lighting a Morley and walking away): "All in good time... Mulder."
by dookeyboy December 21, 2010
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Cyber Monday

The Monday after Thanksgiving Day, when online retailers keep the Black Friday-like bullshit going by constantly bombarding our e-mail inboxes and facebook statuses with annoying-ass ads to buy their products on our employers' time.

These companies apparently don't realize their tactics actually have the reverse effect and that many of us are actually out deer hunting on this day and are carrying loaded .30-06 (thirty-aught-six) rifles.
If I get one more Cyber Monday e-mail today from company X I'm gonna blow my fucking laptop up!
by dookeyboy December 1, 2010
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don't touch my junk

Phrase every American traveling through an airport should utter before being screened by security so the TSA will start harassing people who actually look like real terrorists.
Screener: "I'm going to pat you once on the inner thigh, twice on the ass, three times on your belly button, and then finally stick four fingers and some jelly in yer bunghole, alright honey? If you're uncomfortable with that we can head over to the janitor room right there and do a quick private thingy, k puddin'?"

Passenger: "Do whatchu gotta do, but don't touch my junk or I'll have you arrested."
by dookeyboy November 21, 2010
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imbecivility

The false notion by imbecile politicians of restoration of civility in these politically turbulent times.

As defined on msnbc on "The Ed Show" by comedienne Lizz Winstead.
Minnesota Congresswoman Michelle Bachman was on Faux News last night discussing the imbecivility the Republicans will bring to the U.S. House now that they control it.
by dookeyboy January 22, 2011
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main menu

an ass whoopin' some dude's about to taste for messin' with your shit
Main menu gon' haveta step outside in a sec if I catch you eyein' up my lady one more time.
by dookeyboy November 16, 2010
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