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dookeyboy's definitions

scampede

A devious Black Friday scam perpetrated by department and electronics stores whereby offering especially low prices on a limited number of goods causes an asscrack of dawn stampede of desperate shoppers.

Most of these suckers are either injured, killed, or simply not fast enough to get in on the good deals, but nevertheless fall into the store trap of maxing out multiple credit cards because they are already there.
My uncle Ray was almost killed in a scampede at BestMacy's CostPlus TargetMart, but he managed to survive with nothing more than a fractured vertebrae while still securing his $.99 Acme toaster.
by dookeyboy March 19, 2011
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Gorilla from Wasilla

Sarah Palin, the dim-witted former half-Governor of Alaska, originally from Wasilla. See also Caribou Barbie.
I was at the zoo in Anchorage earlier today and I was surprised to see the Gorilla from Wasilla and her circus entourage on display there for a media event.
by dookeyboy November 21, 2010
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Palintology

The future science and study of the bones of Sarah Palin and all animal forms she once embodied in the early 21st century.

See also Mooselini, Gorilla from Wasilla, mama grizzly, and Caribou Barbie.
A hundred years from now many prominent universities around the globe will offer courses on Palintology.
by dookeyboy November 22, 2010
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crimeshoppers

a group of shoplifters who hold regular meetings to discuss and plan their next series of heists
This holiday season, retail outlets are hiring extra security to combat the expected increase in crimeshoppers.
by dookeyboy November 23, 2010
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Palineptitude

A self-explanatory term that defines the style of government the world can expect should Sarah Palin ever become President of the United States.
Reporter with a spitting problem: "Preliminarily, pundits are predicting that the public's fear of Palineptitude is the primary predicament for the GOP, which is pondering pulling its support for a Sarah Palin presidential campaign and picking a more plausible puppet."
by dookeyboy November 25, 2010
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winning

The recent bout of self-destructive behavior perpetrated by Charlie Sheen, as defined by the actor himself in the myriad of interviews he's given to the national press.
NBC's Jeff Rossen: "Charlie, you recently lost custody of your kids and got fired from your job as the lead actor on 'Two And A Half Men.' What's going on?"

Sheen: "C'mon, Jeff, isn't it obvious? WINNING!!!"
by dookeyboy March 30, 2011
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meter maid

A municipal employee who drives around metropolitan areas stalking and issuing innocent bystanders with parking tickets.

See also revenue police.
Dude, I had to bribe the meter maid with a five dollar bill so he wouldn't issue me a $25 parking ticket!
by dookeyboy November 24, 2010
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