Skip to main content

dookeyboy's definitions

crimeshoppers

a group of shoplifters who hold regular meetings to discuss and plan their next series of heists
This holiday season, retail outlets are hiring extra security to combat the expected increase in crimeshoppers.
by dookeyboy November 23, 2010
mugGet the crimeshoppersmug.

predictive texting

A feature on many smart phones that often causes one to make unwitting hilarious, retarded, offensive, and/or douchebag-like statements when texting. Especially hard to catch when preoccupied with something else while speed texting.
Michelle broke up with me 'cause while I was watching the game the predictive texting on my phone called her Michaela instead.
by dookeyboy November 25, 2010
mugGet the predictive textingmug.

Cyber Monday

The Monday after Thanksgiving Day, when online retailers keep the Black Friday-like bullshit going by constantly bombarding our e-mail inboxes and facebook statuses with annoying-ass ads to buy their products on our employers' time.

These companies apparently don't realize their tactics actually have the reverse effect and that many of us are actually out deer hunting on this day and are carrying loaded .30-06 (thirty-aught-six) rifles.
If I get one more Cyber Monday e-mail today from company X I'm gonna blow my fucking laptop up!
by dookeyboy December 1, 2010
mugGet the Cyber Mondaymug.

don't touch my junk

Phrase every American traveling through an airport should utter before being screened by security so the TSA will start harassing people who actually look like real terrorists.
Screener: "I'm going to pat you once on the inner thigh, twice on the ass, three times on your belly button, and then finally stick four fingers and some jelly in yer bunghole, alright honey? If you're uncomfortable with that we can head over to the janitor room right there and do a quick private thingy, k puddin'?"

Passenger: "Do whatchu gotta do, but don't touch my junk or I'll have you arrested."
by dookeyboy November 21, 2010
mugGet the don't touch my junkmug.

poelice

The police, as pronounced by many Southerners, including the officers themselves in many instances.

Pronounced "POE lees."
Drug Dealer: "Officer, man... why you tase me, yo?!"

Officer: "I pulled out muh bullhorn and told you to stop back there 20 miles ago. What you 'spect when you runnin' from da poelice anyway?"
by dookeyboy January 7, 2011
mugGet the poelicemug.

porn machine

the latest invasive full-body scan X-ray technology utilized by the TSA at American airports
My buddy who's a TSA agent at LAX downloaded a ton of great pics from a couple of their porn machines!
by dookeyboy November 25, 2010
mugGet the porn machinemug.

thundersnow

A freak type of snow storm that is accompanied by startlingly loud-ass thunder and lightning even though no rain is present.

Although not common, the phenomenon typically happens in the winter months around the Great Lakes areas of the U.S. and Canada.
The Weather Channel reporter almost shit himself when he was reporting in Chicago during a super thundersnow storm!
by dookeyboy February 22, 2011
mugGet the thundersnowmug.

Share this definition