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dookeyboy's definitions

predictive texting

A feature on many smart phones that often causes one to make unwitting hilarious, retarded, offensive, and/or douchebag-like statements when texting. Especially hard to catch when preoccupied with something else while speed texting.
Michelle broke up with me 'cause while I was watching the game the predictive texting on my phone called her Michaela instead.
by dookeyboy November 25, 2010
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poelice

The police, as pronounced by many Southerners, including the officers themselves in many instances.

Pronounced "POE lees."
Drug Dealer: "Officer, man... why you tase me, yo?!"

Officer: "I pulled out muh bullhorn and told you to stop back there 20 miles ago. What you 'spect when you runnin' from da poelice anyway?"
by dookeyboy January 7, 2011
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porn machine

the latest invasive full-body scan X-ray technology utilized by the TSA at American airports
My buddy who's a TSA agent at LAX downloaded a ton of great pics from a couple of their porn machines!
by dookeyboy November 25, 2010
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thundersnow

A freak type of snow storm that is accompanied by startlingly loud-ass thunder and lightning even though no rain is present.

Although not common, the phenomenon typically happens in the winter months around the Great Lakes areas of the U.S. and Canada.
The Weather Channel reporter almost shit himself when he was reporting in Chicago during a super thundersnow storm!
by dookeyboy February 22, 2011
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food stamps

A plastic credit card issued by most states to enable ostensibly poor people to buy cigarettes, beer, tabloids, potato chips, and lottery tickets. Often sold and traded on the black market for drugs, drug paraphernalia, and sex.
My mother hit the daily number for $500 with a lottery ticket she bought using food stamps.
by dookeyboy November 23, 2010
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don't touch my junk

Phrase every American traveling through an airport should utter before being screened by security so the TSA will start harassing people who actually look like real terrorists.
Screener: "I'm going to pat you once on the inner thigh, twice on the ass, three times on your belly button, and then finally stick four fingers and some jelly in yer bunghole, alright honey? If you're uncomfortable with that we can head over to the janitor room right there and do a quick private thingy, k puddin'?"

Passenger: "Do whatchu gotta do, but don't touch my junk or I'll have you arrested."
by dookeyboy November 21, 2010
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WAFD

Acronym for "What a fuckin' douchebag!"

Most properly used when texting or posting on facebook, or perhaps verbalized as "W-A-F-D" when kids are around or in an extremely "proper" situation.
On facebook: "Hey fb fam, went to Best Buy on Black Friday and was waiting 45 seconds for some dude to pull out of a parking spot when some rich asshole pulled his Bimmer in before me. WAFD!"
by dookeyboy November 20, 2010
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