QuacksO's definitions

himdle

A male-human-caused hindering snag or other aggravating "hoop to jump through" that delays proceeding with a task or endeavor. Opposite of "herdle", a holdup caused by a female human.

A himdle is sometimes more difficult/time-consuming to overcome than a herdle because usually more men are in government-positions than women, and so more male officials may be involved with said snafu.

by QuacksO September 11, 2019

crocodial

A telemarketer or other phone-obsessed "reptile" who incessantly calls everyone in da phone book, either to feed them some hard-sell song-and-dance, or just to waste their time wif a lotta bu**s**t jibba-jabba.

I am on the National So-Bot-Call List, but since when do those money-hungry crocodials follow da law???

by QuacksO September 12, 2019

Murphy's Law of Gasoline Prices

"You can sit around at home till Doomsday and the prices at the pumps will stay fairly low, incessantly tempting you to travel. But the moment you decide to take off somewhere and head out on your trip, the price for a gallon of gas will go right through the roof!"

Gas-prices seemed fairly "stable" all summer, and so I delayed a road-trip for a while to "save up" or "accumulate" a number of errands so that hopefully my trip would be more cost-effective with regards to gas-consumption, but then when I stopped to fill up my tank in the morning when I was first heading out, the price had suddenly jumped over a quarter higher per gallon! Sounds like a classic case of "Murphy's Law of Gasoline Prices" to me!

by QuacksO September 12, 2019

fellony

A serious crime that either is caused by someone's falling, or causes someone else to fall down.

A "fellony" can also refer to someone's illegally/unethically cutting/breaking down (i.e., "felling") a tree or other vertical object. Ordinarily, a classic example of this act might be the famous (or infamous!) tale about the tomahawk-wielding young George Washington, but it turns out that this narrative was just a myth (well, I must admit that I HAD always kinda wondered how "da great G.W." could have done all the awful things he was known for --- such as wrongfully jailing farmers, and keeping and disgracefully mistreating slaves --- if he was such an "honest" and "truthful" soul as a child!)) perpetrated by an overzealous newspaper-journalist, so I guess we would need to look elsewhere for a true and valid example... maybe the funny Echo-brand chain-saw ad, where the super-excited dude was so eager to try out his new Echo chain saw that he mindlessly cut down a neighbor's tree, and then when said neighbor confronted him about it ("That's **my tree** that you just cut down!"), the imperturbable miscreant sunnily replies, "Oh, no problem --- glad to do it for ya!"

by QuacksO September 12, 2019

Murphy's Law of Weather vs. Gumption

"You can apathetically sit around the house for hours, and the weather will be sunny and mild. But then just as soon as you actually manage to groggily struggle up off'n yer but and head for the door to be productive with outdoor activities, it will either start raining, the temps will soar/plummet, or the breeze will die down and allow black flies and mosquitoes to swarm you."

I am a long-term vicitim of Murphy's Law of Weather vs. Gumption, so I employ the unconventional strategy of working naked outdoors (long live tall dense shrubbery along the road out front!) so that I can feel cooler and move about more easily than I could with restrictive clothing, and thus I am able to strugglingly get work done during more-favorable weather, even when I strongly don't feel like it.

by QuacksO September 12, 2019

Machiavorkianism

The concept of becoming so emotionally/morally detached that you feel comfortable with assisting someone to commit suicide.

I'm kinda "on the fence" about assisted suicides for terminally-ill patients, but I do acknowledge that there would definitely be some grave (pun not intended, but certainly appropriate) Machiavorkianism risks involved.

by QuacksO May 15, 2018

hemhawrhoids

Major pain-in-the-ass condition of acute indecisiveness that often causes mild-to-extreme physical/emotional/mental discomfort, inconvenience, confusion/resentment/impatience/exhaustion, etc. for all those involved, plus the major waste of time/opportunities/resources, inefficiency/stagnation, needless delays/cost-overruns, etc..

It is an erroneous belief that someone with hemhawrhoids can be cured/hurried along with a good kick in the rear end --- he's already a sore-natured a**h**e, and so any further physical trauma "back there" will only make his condition worse. Smearing on summa dat Pfizer-brand cream dat comes in a tube might indeed help wid da pain somewhat, but I don't know about significant improvement in da slowness-to-make-up-his-mind part of the equation.

by QuacksO May 15, 2018