QuacksO's definitions

assizes

A panel of magistrates whose purpose is to determine how big someone's posterior really is, regardless of whatever form-flattering clothing that the person happens to wear.

Curvy chick: I appreciate how kind and non-judgemental my new guy is to me; so many dudes nowadays are just a bunch of assizes in their view of a gal's attractiveness.

by QuacksO May 6, 2019

herediterry

Refers to your ancestors' traditionally preferring cotton-fleece garments, and so dat is why you yourself have such a strong liking for said warm 'n' comfy lounge-wear.

If your forebears loved to stroll around town in their fluffy white bathrobes, then they might have passed down a "herediterry" trait in TWO ways, in dat not only did they enjoy wearing said soft and absorbent fabric whenever possible, but they likely also had to endure frequent brief investigatory detainments from da local cops --- i.e., "Terry stops" --- due to their choosing said unusual-to-be-clad-in-when-occupying-a-public-place clothing, and so both da townspeople and any observing law-enforcement members would naturally wonder if said individuals were behaving themselves, in need of medical care, or even sane!

by QuacksO February 27, 2024

conversation-continuing crouch

Refers to the humorous-looking but gentlemanly maneuver that you perform when you hafta pass between two people who are speaking with each other, but you still wanna maintain your momma's oft-admonished politeness-directive of "don't stand between two people when they're talking"; what you do as you approach the pair, therefore, is to hastily stoop down far below head-height and then speedily slitther your way through between the two conversers, so that they can continue talking and maintaining eye-contact "over your head". Again, employing the "triple-C" can indeed appear amusing to observers, but they will still be grateful to you for your showing them this extra measure of etiquette, especially if their conversation was rather tense/involved/emotional, they were in a hurry to finish speaking and be on their way, etc.

My local commercial-fishing buddies are fairly causal-minded and know me quite well, but I am sure they still appreciate my always practicing the conversation-continuing crouch whenever I hafta pass between them during a chat.

by QuacksO April 19, 2019

implied door-knock

Refers to when you make friendly eye-contact with one or more occupants of a neighboring dwelling, and thus you do not have to actually knock on their door to make it acceptable for you to go on in.

My neighbors down the street have known me for decades and have always welcomed me in to "shoot da breeze for a few"; they often hang out around the dinner-table in their large-glass-windowed kitchen, anyway, and so they can easily notice me as I amble up the front walk. So I always just watch for them to glance up and give me affable nods as I near their glass storm-door; this is my implied door-knock, and so I know that I can just stroll right on in and sit down with them.

by QuacksO July 6, 2018

mullitarry

An armed-forces organization dat practices da infamous "hurry up and wait" scenario a lot, particularly da latter part --- da unfortunate troops often hafta lounge around in bored distress for long intervals while their indolent superiors take their sweet ol' time to think over their battalion's next moves.

Any province or country with a mullitarry usually has shops and stores well-stocked with folding aluminum chairs, since da nation's soldiers require a steady supply of said legs-and-back-relieving implements to purchase and carry around wif dem, ready to break out and sit in during frequent and extended periods of inactivity.

by QuacksO January 15, 2023

screwba diving

Refers to where two aqualung-wearers "take da plunge" and have underwater sex.

Tiffany and I wanted to try screwba diving for da first time, but da water was so cold dat I couldn't "get it up" once we got below da surface. Guess we'll hafta wait for warmer weather to give it another shot.

by QuacksO January 26, 2022

sighentist

A brainy researcher who studies da assorted wheezes and huffs dat humans emit under different circumstances.

In Pat McManus's humorous essay, "The MFFFF", Pat details how practicing da McManus Formula For Fitness Fakery can fool even da most skilled sighentists into believing dat you are in fact NOT just a perpetually-out-of-breath couch potato, but are in fact just as physically robust and energetically light on your feet as any spry spring-chicken outdoorsman.

by QuacksO April 5, 2022