QuacksO's definitions

dentity

Da invisible "ghost being" (every visible mortal around you is swearing up and down, "Wasn't me!" "Don't look at me!") who "scuffed your vehicle", as Sheriff Roscoe P. Coltrane would say.

Nobody is claiming responsibility for my stove-in fender dat occurred while I was parked in da WalMart lot; I guess it mustah been a non-physical "dentity" what did it, then.

by QuacksO December 1, 2023

asworstos

What they really oughtta call it, considering how harmful it is.

Corporate greed of Johns-Manville et al caused them to blatantly disregard the extreme hazards of asworstos.

by QuacksO October 20, 2024

Aiden Attendance

Da name of a super-caring dude who is permitted to ride along for free (i.e., "companion fare") on a bus or plane because he provides cheerful assistance for a physically/mentally-challenged individual who is also taking said public-transportation service.

If two handicapped people travel together and they each provide necessary assistance to the other (i.e., perhaps one can hear better, and the other has clearer eyesight), could they BOTH ride for free by each of them's claiming to be nicknamed "Aiden Attendance"?

by QuacksO May 17, 2020

get poor

Refers to when someone who has usually been "financially comfy" encounters an unexpected downturn in da ol' budget-department, and therefore is no longer able to "live da soft life" for da time being.

I suggested that my fairly-affluent neighbor consult my local "running on a shoestring" mechanic friend for lower-priced auto parts, but he somewhat-snortingly replied, "Well, yeah --- I could do that if I didn't mind dealing with a crook." Well, naturally, I felt kinda shocked and hurt, since the low-income junkyard-owner whom we were alluding to had always "used me good" --- he and his family were smilingly friendly, often gave my rides around town, and always let me use the office-phone in his repair-shop to make local calls in the days before my folks had a telephone of our own. But then just a few weeks later when I'd gone to make a phone call at the garage, I saw that this same somewhat-snooty neighbor had indeed stopped over there to see about a cobbled-together pickup truck that my friend was selling --- oooooohhhhh, did he ever look disgusted and humiliated to be even setting foot on this "lower-class" dude's property! I felt really glad that he apparently never observed me that time, so that he wouldn’t feel even MORE embarrassed that I knew that he had in fact eventually gone to try doing business with this guy, but at the same time I did feel a slight urge to gloatingly waltz out and sarcastically giggle to my neighbor, “So --- ya actually DID come to see this ‘crook’ after all, eh??? Kinda makes ya wanna think twice from now on about trash-talking other folks like that, eh? Ya never know when ya might ‘get poor’ and hafta go see them after all, eh??"

by QuacksO September 15, 2018

Miss Punnymany

Da super-helpful-and-dedicated secretary of da great stand-up comedian Bames Johnned; she often sits off-stage with a two-way earpiece-radio to maintain constant communication with him, and quietly makes joke-suggestions to Mr. Johnned if he is occasionally is at a loss for words.

Bames Johnned: Good evening, Folks, and thank you so much for coming; you all look absolutely fabulous from here! A funny thing happened on my drive over here tonight --- I saw a whole flock of wild geese in the grassy median of the freeway, and they were all making a huge commotion over something they'd found on the ground. Dunno why they were being so noisy about it, though; I guess that they just --- ummmm..."
Miss Punnymany: "How 'bout, 'they just enjoy honking their own horns', Sir?"
Bames Johnned: "Yes --- they just enjoy honking their own horns! Thanks, Miss Punnymany --- how would I ever manage without you?"

by QuacksO November 5, 2018

anal retentive

Describes da status of someone who is so fussy, orderly, and "by da book" dat if you tell him, "Up yer a**!" in disgusted response to his excessive expectations of perfection, he actually tries to persuade you to stay and "follow through" --- in a literal sense --- on said merely-figurative retort.

Be careful who you tell to "Shove it up your butt!" wif regards to overly-picky requirements --- if you say it to an "anal retentive" person, he might actually put yer number on his speed-dial in order to occasionally ask you for said posterior-orifice "servicing".

by QuacksO June 15, 2024

FALLowing you around

What da adorably-cheeky Junkyard Mook's long-suffering main squeeze does when filming her bubbly-cheerful and silly-innocent antics at an auto-graveyard.

Kevin Brown, nearly taking a major stumble while looking at the camera's viewfinder instead of where he's stepping: Whuh - WOAH!
Junkyard Mook (cheekily): Walk much? You sure aren't very steady on your feet!
Kevin Brown: Yeah, I know --- I'm just FALLowing you around with the camera; I can't watch what's in front of me.

by QuacksO September 11, 2020