Social Worker

The man or woman who whenever a movie is made about a mental hospital is always portrayed as a hero. In those movies they play the role of the tireless defender of the mentally ill who fights against the system. In real life they are the ones who run the mental hospitals therefore they are the system. Movies are like this because most writers of these scripts have been patients at mental hospitals. Social workers readily accept credit for the good and are even better at putting the blame for bad situations off on the Doctors, nurses, aides, and that ambiguous entity called "The team."
Sally the the social worker ordered Adam the aide to take Mary the mental patient's personal radio away from her because she only earned four stars out of five in Sally's therapy group. Adam takes the radio. Mary the mental patient complains to Sally the social worker about Adam the aide taking her radio. Sally tells Mary she has "No clue" why Adam did that. Mary assaults Adam with a heavy object causing him permanent brain damage. Mary then files abuse and neglect charges against Adam. Sally and Mary both testify against him and he is fired. The local newspaper hears of this and does a story that portrays Sally as a hero and Mary as the heroic victim. The team of social workers who run the institution see to it that Adam gets denied both medical care and unemployment benefits. Adam tries fighting them in court but with brain damage he can't think clearly and neglects his personal appearance. The jury at the trial had all seen a movie the previous night about a mental hospital where the aides were bullies, the patients were victims, and the social workers were heros. Adam does 3 months in jail for his supposed assault against mary and now roams the streets homeless. Sally gets a big promotion. Mary wins a lawsuit against the mental institution and was filthy rich for a short time. A well meaning but incompetent social worker mismanaged her funds.
by OneWhoKnowsBetter December 25, 2011
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Old saying from WW1 used by soldiers returning to the trenches after being on leave in England
Soldier #1; Poor Tom bought it hardly a day after returning from leave in London!"

Soldier 2; " Yes, after the show comes the shit cart."
by OneWhoKnowsBetter January 25, 2020
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Corporate Doublespeak

If you have ever had a credit card company lose your payment you have probably experienced corporate doublespeak.

A good example; You get a late notice from your credit card company. Instead of paying the minimum you pay the entire account off. Afterward they keep sending late notices and making phone calls. You phone them, you e-mail them, and you even send letters by snail mail to them.

All responses you receive from them are in lawyer language. They admit nothing and say nothing that makes any sense except to say that you are late with your payment and you will be reported to the credit bureau. Then mysteriously two weeks after payment had been sent electronically to them the payment posts and the calls end.
Wife: Why are we still getting those calls from the credit card company?

Husband: I paid them off a week ago but they say I did not. I have called them and e-mailed them. At first they act like I am lying. Then after they keep me on hold for a long time their tone turns cautious and they start talking in corporate doublespeak.
by OneWhoKnowsBetter April 11, 2012
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Flowerbed/Flowerbedding

A term religious people use when they don't want to say curse words.
Jehovah's Witness 1: " What did that man say to you when he opened his door?"

Jehovahs Witness 2: " He was stark naked!" " He asked me if I wanted to flowerbed!" " When I said NO he told me to get my flowerbedding ass off his property!" Flowerbed/flowerbedding
by OneWhoKnowsBetter January 23, 2021
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Sadly it's what the organization called mothers against drunk drivers eventually became.

They had a good cause, one that even the people who drink agreed with. Once they got power they became drunk with power. They were not happy with getting the new laws passed. They keep pushing for even more and stricter laws.

Politicians were more than happy top oblige. They saw the whole affair as a means to raise money without raising taxes.

The old way of handling drunk drivers needed changed. Too many decent people were killed. Unfortunately now decent people have arrest records for drinking half a beer.
Politician to police chief. We need a new city hall but we are short of funds. Go arrest more drunk drivers.

police chief; We are already busting a lot of people as it is. I thought we were doing this to stop drunk drivers. If that's not the case then you ought to convince the people to raise taxes to build your new city hall.

The politician goes to a Motherfuckers Against Drunk Drivers meeting. He says " Drunk Driving is a CRIME against humanity!" "I need your help." "The police chief is RESISTING my efforts to rid the streets of this scum!" "I need all of you to do a public demonstration at the mayors office and DEMAND he be fired!"

There was a huge protest at the mayors office. The police chief was fired, the new police chief cracked down on the drunk drivers. A huge new city hall building was built. All the politicians became rich from illegal kickbacks. The police chief took a job as a meter maid in a smaller town that paid very low salaries. The drunks were still driving and killing people.
by OneWhoKnowsBetter December 25, 2012
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Jackass

A derogatory term similar in meaning to asshole, or stupid asshole. Jackass is a term that's almost never used by today's young people but somehow it sounds hilarious when an old person says it and really means it.
The jerk CEO at a nursing home was telling old man Smith that if he was going to stay at this nursing home he would have to sell his house and possessions or be kicked out.

Old man Smith: "Jackass!"

Nursing staff covers their mouths and tries desperately to stifle their laughter. Old Man Smith just said exactly how they felt about their CEO.
by OneWhoKnowsBetter December 21, 2012
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Second Hand Snitch

A person who hangs around the breakroom listening in on conversations. When they hear someone talking about a employee breaking a minor rule they'll report to the boss what they heard. The victim will never know who turned them in.
Bill was the boss's favorite Second Hand Snitch.
by OneWhoKnowsBetter July 27, 2021
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