Definitions by OneWhoKnowsBetter
Converted Cat Hater
A person who had a lifetime hatred of cats. One who used to tell tales of how evil they were. Then one day their girlfriend or wife, or kid, or etc. forces them to live with a cat. Cats are attracted to cat haters. This particular cat also turns out to be intelligent, friendly and loving. The cat hater eventually sees kitty do something funny, looks at kitty and says, " You'll do cat,you got a home with me." At this point kitty will look at the former cat hater and blink hi eyes one time. In cat talk this can mean different things but in this case it means "I like you too."
A converted cat hater becomes a cat defender. They get angry when people say bad things about them. They become homicidal if they think somebody is going to hurt their cat.
A converted cat hater becomes a cat defender. They get angry when people say bad things about them. They become homicidal if they think somebody is going to hurt their cat.
Two bored teenagers are crusing a tiny midwestern village late at night.
Teen 1; I'm bored man, lets do something, lets tear this fucking little town up, take that gun and shoot at some houses.
Teen 2; This is the town where Billy was killed. He shot at a house and within 15 seconds half the town was shooting at him.
Teen 1, Bad idea, take my pellet rifle, it makes less noise, and start shooting their fucking cats. Everybody in this town hates cats. We will be hero's to them.
Teen 2. Aims the pellet rifle at a cat but before he can shoot the back window of their car explodes. Then they hear the distinct sound of another round being jacked in to a pump shot gun.
Teen 1. "Lets get the fuck out of here dude!" "That's a converted cat hater with a gun and they WILL kill us."
The teens later meet their buddies. They tell their friends "Some asshole shot our back window out but that's OK." We really beat the shit out of him and we tore that little town up before we left," "You shoulda seen it man, they was all scared of us and acting like bitches."
Teen 1; I'm bored man, lets do something, lets tear this fucking little town up, take that gun and shoot at some houses.
Teen 2; This is the town where Billy was killed. He shot at a house and within 15 seconds half the town was shooting at him.
Teen 1, Bad idea, take my pellet rifle, it makes less noise, and start shooting their fucking cats. Everybody in this town hates cats. We will be hero's to them.
Teen 2. Aims the pellet rifle at a cat but before he can shoot the back window of their car explodes. Then they hear the distinct sound of another round being jacked in to a pump shot gun.
Teen 1. "Lets get the fuck out of here dude!" "That's a converted cat hater with a gun and they WILL kill us."
The teens later meet their buddies. They tell their friends "Some asshole shot our back window out but that's OK." We really beat the shit out of him and we tore that little town up before we left," "You shoulda seen it man, they was all scared of us and acting like bitches."
Converted Cat Hater by OneWhoKnowsBetter December 20, 2012
Wiener Dog
This is the cleaned up highly edited version of my original post that was rejected by editors possibly because of mild cuss words.
A. A breed of dog known as the Dachshund. It comes in both standard and miniature sizes. Their coats range from shorthair to longhair. Some are aloof to strangers and save their love for their owners. If socialized properly they will be very friendly to most BUT NOT ALL STRANGERS.
B. An affectionate term used by dachshund owners due to the breed looking like a hot dog on a bun.
C. Sometimes used as a derogatory term by people who don't like this breed of dog.
D. A word that makes former dachshund haters angry. These people are worse than former cat haters and are very defensive of this breed.
A. A breed of dog known as the Dachshund. It comes in both standard and miniature sizes. Their coats range from shorthair to longhair. Some are aloof to strangers and save their love for their owners. If socialized properly they will be very friendly to most BUT NOT ALL STRANGERS.
B. An affectionate term used by dachshund owners due to the breed looking like a hot dog on a bun.
C. Sometimes used as a derogatory term by people who don't like this breed of dog.
D. A word that makes former dachshund haters angry. These people are worse than former cat haters and are very defensive of this breed.
A man who formerly hated dachshunds is seen walking a female longhaired miniature dachshund down the street. The dog is strutting because she is proud of her new owner, loves him tremendously, and in dog language is saying "Look at us." "This is my new human and I love him."
The owner meets up with his friends. They start needling him. The one says " Yer old lady got a wiener dog and now she is MAKING you walk." " You have turned in to a pathetic wuss."
The man picks up the Idiot who made that remark by the lapels of his shirt and has his feet dangling in the air." The dachshund has flipped from happy to angry and is nipping at the victims heels. The dachshund owner says " First off you will NO call my dachshund a wiener dog again." Secondly I just had an argument with me wife." " We were arguing because she wanted to walk the dog and I wanted to walk her too." Third off you (Censored) do you ever wonder why you are 50 years old and can't keep a wife or a girlfriend for any length of time?"At that point the idiot finally makes the first right decision he's made in a long time. He apologizes. They have been friends for a long time and he does not want to hear what his friend thinks of his ability to keep a woman.
The owner meets up with his friends. They start needling him. The one says " Yer old lady got a wiener dog and now she is MAKING you walk." " You have turned in to a pathetic wuss."
The man picks up the Idiot who made that remark by the lapels of his shirt and has his feet dangling in the air." The dachshund has flipped from happy to angry and is nipping at the victims heels. The dachshund owner says " First off you will NO call my dachshund a wiener dog again." Secondly I just had an argument with me wife." " We were arguing because she wanted to walk the dog and I wanted to walk her too." Third off you (Censored) do you ever wonder why you are 50 years old and can't keep a wife or a girlfriend for any length of time?"At that point the idiot finally makes the first right decision he's made in a long time. He apologizes. They have been friends for a long time and he does not want to hear what his friend thinks of his ability to keep a woman.
Wiener Dog by OneWhoKnowsBetter December 20, 2012
Urban Dictionary Editor
This is a group of people with different personalities who volunteer their time to keep Urban Dictionary relevant. They receive no pay for this service. Some are just killing time, some have an agenda, BUT for the most part they are folks that just want UD to be free of the things that are not allowed. By volunteering their services they are helping this site to remain FREE OF CHARGE to all who use it.
Because there are so many different people editing UD it can lead to new posts being rejected for what appears to be no good reason. Some people let everything pass through, some follow the rules exactly, and then there are some who might go beyond the rules and reject almost every new post.
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Because there are so many different people editing UD it can lead to new posts being rejected for what appears to be no good reason. Some people let everything pass through, some follow the rules exactly, and then there are some who might go beyond the rules and reject almost every new post.
.
Person 1." Dude!" " That great post I just made got deleted by a Urban Dictionary Editor !" Man I am pissed!!" " Just for that I'm gonna go click on the edit link and reject every new post that comes to me!" "If mine ain't good enough nobody else's is either."
Person 2. "Dude, that's childish."
Person 2. In baby talk " Baby mad because momma took um pacifier away, poor baby."
Person 1 "Oh alright, knock it off dude." " I'm still gonna go there and reject any post that don't meet the rules!"
Person 2 "Whatever"
Person 2. "Dude, that's childish."
Person 2. In baby talk " Baby mad because momma took um pacifier away, poor baby."
Person 1 "Oh alright, knock it off dude." " I'm still gonna go there and reject any post that don't meet the rules!"
Person 2 "Whatever"
Urban Dictionary Editor by OneWhoKnowsBetter December 20, 2012
Dang
A word used by kids and adults years ago that seems to have fallen out of use but still used occasionally.
A word that a kid used when they hit their fingers accidentally with a hammer or was hurt suddenly in an unexpected way. They used this word in place of curse words like damn, damnit, or any other cuss word that comes to mind. Many times you'd get a whipping anyway for saying a word close to a curse word.
This was done because years ago adults did not want their kids to cuss. It did not matter if you came from a religious family or not. Sometimes the non-religious would whip you harder than a religious person would.
A word that a kid used when they hit their fingers accidentally with a hammer or was hurt suddenly in an unexpected way. They used this word in place of curse words like damn, damnit, or any other cuss word that comes to mind. Many times you'd get a whipping anyway for saying a word close to a curse word.
This was done because years ago adults did not want their kids to cuss. It did not matter if you came from a religious family or not. Sometimes the non-religious would whip you harder than a religious person would.
Kid 1. "Momma whipped me yesterday." "I still can't sit down too long."
Kid 2. "I am sorry!" "I still remember that one your mom gave me." "When I got home and told my mom about it she whipped me too." "I got a third when dad got off work." " By the way what happened this time????"
Kid 1. "A thunderstorm was coming." Mom told me to run the chickens back into their chicken house." "I got them all in except for the rooster, you know, the one that flogs us when our backs are turned."
Kid 2 " Yeah I know that....(Slaps hand over mouth aand looks around in fear)
Kid 1 "I got mad at that rooster." "I was already mad at him because he'd cut me with his spurs a few days ago when he flogged me." I was so mad I actually said "Dang old rooster"".
Kid 2. And your momma heard you?"
Kid 1. "You git that right." " You put your hand over your mouth earlier instead of saying a cuss word which means you probably thought a cuss word." Does your mom whip you for thinking cuss words too."
Kid 2 "Yes." "I can't wait until I grow up and cuss like daddy does."
Kid 1. " You ain't even safe then." "Momma heard dad say a bad word and told him he was acting like White Trash."
Kid 2. "I am sorry!" "I still remember that one your mom gave me." "When I got home and told my mom about it she whipped me too." "I got a third when dad got off work." " By the way what happened this time????"
Kid 1. "A thunderstorm was coming." Mom told me to run the chickens back into their chicken house." "I got them all in except for the rooster, you know, the one that flogs us when our backs are turned."
Kid 2 " Yeah I know that....(Slaps hand over mouth aand looks around in fear)
Kid 1 "I got mad at that rooster." "I was already mad at him because he'd cut me with his spurs a few days ago when he flogged me." I was so mad I actually said "Dang old rooster"".
Kid 2. And your momma heard you?"
Kid 1. "You git that right." " You put your hand over your mouth earlier instead of saying a cuss word which means you probably thought a cuss word." Does your mom whip you for thinking cuss words too."
Kid 2 "Yes." "I can't wait until I grow up and cuss like daddy does."
Kid 1. " You ain't even safe then." "Momma heard dad say a bad word and told him he was acting like White Trash."
Dang by OneWhoKnowsBetter December 20, 2012
Spanking
A word that used to mean punishment for a child who had done wrong. When done fairly and properly the child usually did not commit that particular crime again. Some parents used it only as a means of last resort. Other parents spanked their kids for every little thing they did which actually had the opposite effect.
Spanking has fallen into disfavor these days for more "Progressive" means of "Educating" children. The advocates of the progressive system say that you must never strike a child. They say that if your child hits you with a broom handle you are to sit them down and educate them that they should not do that because it hurts people. Never tell them that it's wrong because that may hurt their self esteem and psychologically harm them,
The advocates of the progressive way are usually childless, single people who write books on how to raise your kids. They usually have long impressive titles behind their names that make them look like really smart people who know everything about raising kids. In reality they only spent as little time as possible with kids. Most of their time was spent kissing up to the professors in whatever diploma mill (College) they attended. This happens far more than you think.
Spanking has fallen into disfavor these days for more "Progressive" means of "Educating" children. The advocates of the progressive system say that you must never strike a child. They say that if your child hits you with a broom handle you are to sit them down and educate them that they should not do that because it hurts people. Never tell them that it's wrong because that may hurt their self esteem and psychologically harm them,
The advocates of the progressive way are usually childless, single people who write books on how to raise your kids. They usually have long impressive titles behind their names that make them look like really smart people who know everything about raising kids. In reality they only spent as little time as possible with kids. Most of their time was spent kissing up to the professors in whatever diploma mill (College) they attended. This happens far more than you think.
2012 parent 1;Honey look at this book!" When we have our first kid this is exactly what we will do!"
2012 parent 2; "Is that the book that advises against spanking??"
2012 parent 1; "Why yes it is!" "This person is really smart and knows what they are talking about! " Look at all those titles after their name!" This is one awesome super smart person and we will raise our kids just like they say!."
20 years later
1."Honey!! the jail called again we need bail money!"
2. "Which kid?"
1. "I dunno"
2. " I don't have it but maybe I will after I sue the idiot that wrote that book."
1. " We can't do that, they moved to the Caymans to escape paying taxes on the childcare books they write."
2. " That's right, they pushed for high taxes on the wealthy, and when the law passed they moved out of the USA to the Caymans where they still talk about everybody paying their fair share." Now they are saying that even the poor should pay taxes.
2012 parent 2; "Is that the book that advises against spanking??"
2012 parent 1; "Why yes it is!" "This person is really smart and knows what they are talking about! " Look at all those titles after their name!" This is one awesome super smart person and we will raise our kids just like they say!."
20 years later
1."Honey!! the jail called again we need bail money!"
2. "Which kid?"
1. "I dunno"
2. " I don't have it but maybe I will after I sue the idiot that wrote that book."
1. " We can't do that, they moved to the Caymans to escape paying taxes on the childcare books they write."
2. " That's right, they pushed for high taxes on the wealthy, and when the law passed they moved out of the USA to the Caymans where they still talk about everybody paying their fair share." Now they are saying that even the poor should pay taxes.
Spanking by OneWhoKnowsBetter December 20, 2012
Corporate Doublespeak
If you have ever had a credit card company lose your payment you have probably experienced corporate doublespeak.
A good example; You get a late notice from your credit card company. Instead of paying the minimum you pay the entire account off. Afterward they keep sending late notices and making phone calls. You phone them, you e-mail them, and you even send letters by snail mail to them.
All responses you receive from them are in lawyer language. They admit nothing and say nothing that makes any sense except to say that you are late with your payment and you will be reported to the credit bureau. Then mysteriously two weeks after payment had been sent electronically to them the payment posts and the calls end.
A good example; You get a late notice from your credit card company. Instead of paying the minimum you pay the entire account off. Afterward they keep sending late notices and making phone calls. You phone them, you e-mail them, and you even send letters by snail mail to them.
All responses you receive from them are in lawyer language. They admit nothing and say nothing that makes any sense except to say that you are late with your payment and you will be reported to the credit bureau. Then mysteriously two weeks after payment had been sent electronically to them the payment posts and the calls end.
Wife: Why are we still getting those calls from the credit card company?
Husband: I paid them off a week ago but they say I did not. I have called them and e-mailed them. At first they act like I am lying. Then after they keep me on hold for a long time their tone turns cautious and they start talking in corporate doublespeak.
Husband: I paid them off a week ago but they say I did not. I have called them and e-mailed them. At first they act like I am lying. Then after they keep me on hold for a long time their tone turns cautious and they start talking in corporate doublespeak.
Corporate Doublespeak by OneWhoKnowsBetter September 16, 2012
Dachshund
A breed of dog developed in Germany starting around 1600. The breed took almost 100 years to develop but is being ruined in modern times by people who cross breed them with any type of dog. The breed is also being affected by owners of puppy mills who sell dogs with genetic defects.
Dachshunds are very loyal to their owners and don't take to strangers unless they are socialized.
Dachshunds are very loyal to their owners and don't take to strangers unless they are socialized.
Shady Bob wanted to get in the dog breeding business. He had a male Dachshund and a female Pekinese. He bred the two and sold them as Longhaired Dachshunds to gullible people.
Dachshund by OneWhoKnowsBetter August 1, 2012