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OneWhoKnowsBetter's definitions

Chemtard

A. Someone who fails chemistry class.

B. Derogatory name for people who believe in the existence of

chemtrails.
A. Dude I failed my chemistry class, I'm such a chemtard!

B. Dude did you just hear what Adam said? He claims the Illuminati are trying to take over the world by injecting poison in the contrails of jet planes. He is such a chemtard.
by OneWhoKnowsBetter July 10, 2012
mugGet the Chemtardmug.

Urbanized Hillbilly

An old dude who grew up out in hillbilly land but moved to an urban area when they were a young man. They are an odd mixture of both liberal and conservative. They no longer fit in at their former home but they also don't fit in too well in the city even though they have many friends there.

Urbanized Hillbillies tend to read a lot and like to fix things like cars or anything else that needs fixing. A U.H. is the guy you call on when you need something fixed and you don't have the money to call a repairman, go to a garage, or etc.
City Boy 1; "Dude these snow chains I put on my tires ain't doing shit in this snow."" I'm gonna take em back then I'm gonna sue the store that sold them, and the company that made them."

City Boy 2: "Let's stop by Bob's house." " Bob's OK but his dad is a urbanized hillbilly."

City Boy 1; " No,he's a dumb motherfucker,"

City Boy 2; " "Yes he's a dumb fuck but there IS a few things those retarded hillbilly's do know." "Heres his house pull in."

Urbanized Hillbilly; "Looks at the car and shakes his head sadly and says; " First off I really would not be driving a classic car in this weather." Secondly; This is a 1969 Mustang and you put the chains on the front tires." " This is a rear wheel drive car, the chains go on the back tires." " Next time y'all do any work on a car go get a Haynes or a Chilton book and read it before you do anything else."
He then gets out his tools and proceeds to to change the chains for them.

Both city boys start jabbing each other in the ribs and whispering to each other "Look at that dumb motherfucker,he's changing it for us."

Old hillbilly thinks to himself: "Dumb fuckers." "They think I"m too stupid to know they are making fun of me." " Too stupid to know that the only reason I am doing this is because I don't want them to screw up this classic car."
by OneWhoKnowsBetter December 25, 2012
mugGet the Urbanized Hillbillymug.

Flowerbed/Flowerbedding

A term religious people use when they don't want to say curse words.
Jehovah's Witness 1: " What did that man say to you when he opened his door?"

Jehovahs Witness 2: " He was stark naked!" " He asked me if I wanted to flowerbed!" " When I said NO he told me to get my flowerbedding ass off his property!" Flowerbed/flowerbedding
by OneWhoKnowsBetter January 22, 2021
mugGet the Flowerbed/Flowerbeddingmug.

Clipcloppers and Cottas

Monsters that sometimes appear as disembodied hands or hands that look look like they were cut off of someones arm.

Their favorite activity is to hide under a kids bed, then just as the kid is ready to drift off to sleep they sneak up under the bed covers and grab the kid by the foot. If the kid is not completely scared they will try dragging him out of bed. On other occasions they become invisible and pull the sheets off the kid when they are awake. This makes the shhets look like they are moving on their own.
it's the 1950's and little Johnnie screams out in the night.

Johnnies mom: What's the matter dear?"

Johnnie; The Clipcloppers and Cottas are grabbing my feet"

Johnnies mom; " Don't say that ever again or the police will come and lock you up in the lunatic Asylum for the rest of your life."
by OneWhoKnowsBetter January 1, 2013
mugGet the Clipcloppers and Cottasmug.

Chemtard

A. Someone who fails Chemistry class.

B. Derogatory term for those who believe in the existence of Chemtrails. They believe that George Bush I & II, Obama, The Illuminati, The National Weather Service, FEMA, Big Pharma, Rich People, Wall Street, and whatever villain they dream up, Are putting chemicals in the exhaust fumes of Jet airplanes.

Those who believe in the existence of chemtrails are usually decent people who sincerely believe that they have a simple answer to all the problems of the world. They want to change things for the better
Two Nigerian scammers are in a world of hurt. Their Governor has put them on his "To be killed" list. It seems that they had FINALLY scammed the wrong person on e-bay motors.

These two have made their governor millions of dollars from their scams however this flow of money appears to be ending because too many people are up in arms. They are demanding Nigeria be cut off of the internet. The governor has put the blame on these two.
The scammers know that if they can come up with a bunch more money they will be taken off the hit list, the question is how.
One of them happens to look up in the sky and sees the contrail from a jet plane and an idea forms. He tells his friend " We shall start a scam we have nothing to sell but an idea. One where people cannot prove we did anything illegal and people who believe us will defend us passionately AND, most important send us money.
Thus the chemtrail conspiracy is born. The scammers are back in the good graces of the Governor and are still scamming on e-bay motors. They call the people who support them Chemtards.
by OneWhoKnowsBetter October 23, 2014
mugGet the Chemtardmug.

Spanking

A word that used to mean punishment for a child who had done wrong. When done fairly and properly the child usually did not commit that particular crime again. Some parents used it only as a means of last resort. Other parents spanked their kids for every little thing they did which actually had the opposite effect.

Spanking has fallen into disfavor these days for more "Progressive" means of "Educating" children. The advocates of the progressive system say that you must never strike a child. They say that if your child hits you with a broom handle you are to sit them down and educate them that they should not do that because it hurts people. Never tell them that it's wrong because that may hurt their self esteem and psychologically harm them,

The advocates of the progressive way are usually childless, single people who write books on how to raise your kids. They usually have long impressive titles behind their names that make them look like really smart people who know everything about raising kids. In reality they only spent as little time as possible with kids. Most of their time was spent kissing up to the professors in whatever diploma mill (College) they attended. This happens far more than you think.
2012 parent 1;Honey look at this book!" When we have our first kid this is exactly what we will do!"

2012 parent 2; "Is that the book that advises against spanking??"

2012 parent 1; "Why yes it is!" "This person is really smart and knows what they are talking about! " Look at all those titles after their name!" This is one awesome super smart person and we will raise our kids just like they say!."

20 years later
1."Honey!! the jail called again we need bail money!"
2. "Which kid?"
1. "I dunno"
2. " I don't have it but maybe I will after I sue the idiot that wrote that book."
1. " We can't do that, they moved to the Caymans to escape paying taxes on the childcare books they write."
2. " That's right, they pushed for high taxes on the wealthy, and when the law passed they moved out of the USA to the Caymans where they still talk about everybody paying their fair share." Now they are saying that even the poor should pay taxes.
by OneWhoKnowsBetter December 20, 2012
mugGet the Spankingmug.

Erection Killer

Any situation that immediately kills ones desire to have sex.
Bob: "Hey Tim have you met John's sister yet?"
Tim; "No."
Bob; "She looks like John with tits"
Tim; "Ugh!"
Bob; " Yep she's a real erection killer."

The names in this story were changed to protect the guilty. It's based on an real conversation that happened many years ago.
by OneWhoKnowsBetter March 8, 2012
mugGet the Erection Killermug.

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