Mr. Dyche's definitions

Delay Technique

What a guy conjures up in his head to stop from coming too soon.

I was with this smoke show last night, and one thing led to another, and we were having sex. Luckily, I've got a great delay technique - I just think about my sweaty gym teacher in high school. Adds at least another 5 minutes.

by Mr. Dyche March 27, 2025

Choreture

The mindless forcing (always by a wife of a husband) to do tedious busywork, because of a perceived imbalance in the sharing of household chores.

While trying to watch game 7, he was choretured several times during a riveting, back-and-forth first half to take out the garbage, put in the air conditioner, put his plates in the dishwasher, water the plants, and let her know when he was going to PLEASE put his clothes away.

by Mr. Dyche July 8, 2010

buzz assassin

One who would go proactively go out of their way to kill your buzz. The violence and glee with which they go about this task puts them at the level of assassin ... a buzz assassin.

I avoid going to Monday's before 4pm because the buzz assassin that runs that place in the afternoon won't serve me more than 2 drinks before shutting me off.

by Mr. Dyche March 12, 2018

Osteentatious

Showy; pretentious. Interested in the cosmetic. Preaches but doesn't practice what he preaches.

Joel had a chance to open up his church to suffering Houstonians. He reminded us all how osteentatious he is when he chose to lock his TV mega-church up instead.

by Mr. Dyche August 28, 2017

tofaux

definition: meat. Most likely a steak.

"Get that limpwristed side salad outta my face! You know I'm on all tofaux diet these days."

by Mr. Dyche November 28, 2007

teeball

Def. 1: Used to describe something particularly easy, generally a task.
Def.2: Used to describe someone of the opposite sex, particularly in how easy it will be to pick that person up. A sure thing.

origin: beginner's little league game of the same name, where the degree of difficulty in hitting a baseball is reduced by placing it on a tee for the child to hit.

"I know the guy who runs that place, so getting our friends in should be teeball tonight."

"See that drunk chick over there? Total teeball."

by Mr. Dyche August 16, 2006

Park Slope Speedball

Combination of Xanax and Starbucks cold brew coffee favored by the hipster mom and dad set.

Pushing Junior around Brooklyn all morning isn't tolerable without my daily dose of the Park Slope Speedball

by Mr. Dyche August 2, 2016