12

Without any doubt what so ever, 12 is the greatest number of all time. it's not likely that anyone does'nt know this but for those of you who want to be reminded of just how good 12 is here... Months in a Year? Hours in a.m? some of the finest rugby players have worn 12, the number of the inside centre jersey in union. The board of friends officialy recognized this, and one of it's main aims is to spread the knowledge of this fact. In the history of the universe,only 12 things have happened, numer 3 being dinosaurs and number 11 being star wars. this isn't a crackpot theory, throughout any given day you will see at least three 12 references. Snoop Dogg's favourite number is also 12.
"everyone knows 12 is great. even dead people still appreciate the 12th of the month"
by Jeffrey Douglas August 06, 2006
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lads night

An event strictly involving only males. Activities on a lads night out include; drinking (alcohol), gambling, the muffin game and many many more.

The lads night had its origins (like fireworks) in the middle east, where Ghengis Khan would ride with his clan to a neighbouring tribe and destroy them. This version of a lads night did not catch on in europe.

The breakthrough in europe for the lads night came with Schiller (Goethe's best friend) in the 18th Century. He called it the gentleman's petit renaissance. These nights generally involved silhouette making and shirades.

At around the same time in the emerging states of america, the english were enjoying lads nights. The americans did not appreciate these evenings of drunken revelry, and declared war. This ended (temporarily) the lads night in the Americas.

Centuries later, the weight of being without a lads night society took its toll. America's economy crashed and the country went into a depression sending shockwaves throughout the world. President Hoover saw the mistake and called upon a lads night revival, giving tax breaks to those who threw the best poker nights and owned the best laser challenge sets.

In the present day, the lads night out has lost it's way slightly. It is no longer the driving political power it once was. Taken over by the proles and the masses it has fallen into disrepute. More and more lads nights end in injury and arrests.

The future of the lads night is then unclear. Perhaps it will undergo a resurgance in popularity, but it faces stiff competition from chick flicks and aids.
Typical 'lads night' venues

The house. (for poor folk)
The dog track. (for rich folk)
The country retreat. (for cottagers)

Stock phrases for a lads night (and some to avoid!)

DO SAY : - -
"MORE BEER!"
"Women are pure evil."
"That Mel Gibson really gets on my titties"

DO NOT SAY!: - -
"Oh no, i'm driving"
"Can't we just see our girlfriend/wife/sibling?& quot;
"Look guys, i brought legally blonde! "

A Lads night is just what i need
by Jeffrey Douglas January 31, 2007
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Goethe

Johann wolfgang von Goethe was born in 1749 in Frankfurt, Germany. It would be correct to remark he put german culture on the map. Famous for Faust, Heidelroslein and The sorrows of young Werther. Coined the phrase "pretentious, moi?". All in all, abit of a floppy sausage, and is still annoying people today through education and the Goetheinstitute.

It would be unfair to say he was useless, as he coined a phrase in german that translates as "lick my arse", genius.

"mmm, goethe was important, but a bit of a tool wasnt he?"
"yes he was!"
"nice hair though"
by Jeffrey Douglas August 31, 2006
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burden

Noun. Something that weighs you down. Usually a worry or a sore point you don't share with close friends or orangutangs.

You can also be a burden on someone else when you try and talk about your problems and worries to someone else.
Physical Hang ups, girlfriends, wife (wives) or debt. all of these are burdens.

Hayley: "I'm worried!"
Steve: "Shut up you have so many burdens! Don't become a burden yourself!"
by Jeffrey Douglas November 15, 2006
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wikipedia battle

When history coursework simply isn't fun enough! Or perhaps when one is trying to research a very minor topic that wikipedia cannot offer, one might slip into a wikipedia battle with an unsuspecting Mick Hucknall look-a-like next to you!

A wikipedia battle, also known as a random article battle, makes full use of that magic button, RANDOM ARTICLE. The object is to get better pages than your filthy mancunian red-headed friend or colleague. Normally it is easy to spot who wins, for example X-men would beat Conneticut (naturally). However, if it is to close to call, for example Godzilla and Spiderman, one would call for an independant adjudicator to decide. If that person is also gay and sitting on that prosthetic penis of a fence, then the scores remain as they were entering the round. Most matches are first to 12.

In the history of the wikipedia battle, there have been many engagements many ending in bloodshed. One match even went to 50 much to the annoyance of both participants.
Dave: Hey, fancy a wikipedia battle?
Mick Hucknall: Yea, i am ginger!
Dave:Go!
Mick Hucknall: Aha! Simply Red! What have you got, cocknose?
Dave: Super ameobas.
Mick Hucknall: Pfft. You win.
by Jeffrey Douglas September 02, 2006
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fuckshitfuckshitfuck

Exclamation. describing state of panic.
fuckshitfuckshitfuck could be used for the following;

Opening a parachute but to no effect.

Realising you did not pay attention to your instructions on your exam paper and forgot to answer BOTH questions.

Putting your hand in your back pocket to pay your tab at a bar to discover you never took your wallet.

Having your johnny burst during private time with the missus.

Looking at the black guy using the urinal next to you, who is incidentally twice your size, with you dressed for a party as a grand wizard of the K.K.K.
by Jeffrey Douglas November 15, 2006
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Fish and Chip Shop

A place where the creme de la creme go to boogy on down with the local riff raff, whilst enjoying the shop's specialities such as Cod&Chips. It indeed would be fair to say the Chip shop is a good insight into the class system in Britain today. Workers in the chip shop are always strapping and gorgeous as the grease in the air is good for their skin.
"What ho, old boy, let's go down to the Fish and Chip Shop for one of each"

"Quick lads, let's go down to the Fish and Chip Shop for one of each"
by Jeffrey Douglas July 14, 2006
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