Eppypotamus's definitions

NAKtard

a wannabe "investor" so stupid he's still buying stock in a fictitious goldmine more than 10-years after the scam was revealed

Typical NAKtard statement: I am very smart ... in fact, a "very stable genius"... I will never sell a single share of my long-held bag of worthless mining stock, even though I could get a dime-on-the-dollar today!

by Eppypotamus August 15, 2019

Trumpteezer

def: (1) a sexually-attractive young woman who only dates rich old geezers, usually only for the purpose (and with an expectation) of receiving expensive gifts; even though she will rarely fuck on a first date (no matter how attractive or valuable the proffered or promised gifts), so, technically, NOT a whore (yet) or prickteaser, she definitely WILL fuck on a second date IF sufficiently extravagant or expensive gifts are received in the interim.

syn: high-class whore-ELLA

Before becoming First Lady, Melania was only the last in a long line of Trumpteezers.

by Eppypotamus July 14, 2019

bagtard

portmanteau formed from bagholder + retard

a wannabe investor who buys a bad stock, then even when it keeps going down year-after-year, instead of taking a small loss, now, the noob huffs some hopium and holds firmly onto his bag until the stock is completely worthless and he is FLAT BROKE ...

syn: naktard, fucktard, trumptard

Nine-out-of-ten financial advisors agree ... people who buy NAK are bagtards!

by Eppypotamus April 9, 2021

Trumpectomy

a portmanteau formed from Trump + hemorrhoidectomy

def: any procedure that effectively removes a HUGE pain-in-the-ass

OMG! Our beloved country is in dire need of a Trumpectomy!

by Eppypotamus July 14, 2019

Trumpstank

Trumpstank

def: (1) the smell of corruption and failure that permeates anything touched by Donald Trump (2) the smell of death (3) the smell of Ivanka's 13-year-old daddy-spooged anus

see: "Everything touched by Trump dies" a NYT #1 best-seller book by a noted Republican strategist (and genius), Rick Wilson.

example of usage: "I was doing well investing in a promising goldmine prospect in Alaska, then Trump got involved and the whiff of Trumpstank scared-off all the investors! Now my investment and 401k are worthless!"

by Eppypotamus August 22, 2019

cucktard

portmanteau formed from cuckold + retard

(1) a man who invites a friend over to fuck his wife but ends-up with a sore butthole himself; (2) anyone who believes Donald J. Trump's lies; (3) a "very stable genius" aka moron

syn: Trumpanzee, Trumptard, NAKtard, fucktard

Nine-out-of-ten psychiatrists agree ... most people who attend Trump rallies are cucktards!

by Eppypotamus January 14, 2020

hannitized

A portmanteau that is formed from the rhyming words lobotomized and hypnotized and which have related meanings. Def: a form of malevolent brainwashing that victimizes anyone who watches any Faux News host too long (the time until a lethal dosage is imbibed depends on the particular host and the IQ of the individual; for example the low-IQ individuals who support Trump, the so-called "base," comprising about 25% of the stupidest American TV-watching public) are usually goners within 5-minutes of exposure, especially if listening to the most toxic host of them all, "El Diablo" himself, Sean Hannity, the name-sake of this term.

I dozed-off on my girlfriend's parents' couch while waiting for her to get ready for our date. Their TV (as usual) was on Faux News. By the time my girlfriend awakened me (after only 10-minutes) I had been hannitized!

by Eppypotamus June 8, 2019