Definitions by Dharma Midget

titstracted 

When you unintentionally drop out of a conversation, drive into oncoming traffic, or run over the neighbor's cat with your lawnmower because your attention was drawn away by a beautiful woman and/or perfect tits. The male equivalent to dickstracted.

I got so titstracted when I saw Amber Rose at the mall that I tripped into a twenty-minute fall down the up escalator.

titstracted by Dharma Midget September 21, 2016

mushroom-bruise 

A bruise, in the shape of a mushroom, obtained by being slapped with a large penis or penis-like object.

"Dude, I can't believe you goin' out with the new girl from accounting!"
"I'm gonna mushroom-bruise her ass, just for you. Just watch -- she won't be sittin' straight for a week."

mushroom-bruise by Dharma Midget September 7, 2016

doorknob 

Someone who has frequent sex, with anyone who will stoop low enough to fuck them, regardless of physical appearance and/or hygiene.

"So I heard you're dating that new waitress..."
"Yeah, why?"
"Dude, she's a doorknob -- everyone gets a turn. I tagged her twice last month. I saw your dad coming out of her apartment yesterday."

doorknob by Dharma Midget July 2, 2016

four-toothed cousin-fucker 

A generic term for anyone who flies the Southern Cross, supports Donald Trump, drives a mud-encrusted monster truck, has less than a high school education, and/or actually enjoys sexual relations with family members -- as in Donald Trump's lust for his own daughter.

This stupid fuck at work still believes that Obama is a Muslim who wasn't born in the U.S. That four-toothed cousin-fucker shouldn't be allowed to vote. Or breed.

four-toothed cousin-fucker by Dharma Midget July 2, 2016

namastay 

Voicing one's decision to not go out for the evening. Not to be confused with the overused and misunderstood "namaste."

"You going to Dave's party tonight? Should be a good one."
"Namastay.Got Netflix and pizza."

namastay by Dharma Midget June 28, 2016

Wimple 

An expulsion of air from the end of a penis. Usually happens when a novice gives a blow job and actually blows air into the penis.

Also used as an insult, suggesting that someone is a dick-fart.

I knew she didn't know what she was doing -- I wimpled for an hour after she blew me.

Dude, you're such a wimple. Go back to your closet and cry.

Wimple by Dharma Midget June 22, 2016

sprunk 

To orgasm with such force following oral sex that the recipient recoils hard enough to launch off the bed and land on the floor.

I'm gonna sprunk that chick -- she won't forget me for the rest of her life.

sprunk by Dharma Midget June 22, 2016