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You Need Jesus 

Phrase used to convey the idea that a person's words or actions are of questionable morality or virtue.
Dude: Man, I should SO kill that hooker right now.
Dude2: You need Jesus.
You Need Jesus by Whistledink April 7, 2010
Urban Dictionary Merch

You need Jesus 

If you are on on urban dictionary you need Jesus
You need Jesus by Mhmyensn May 17, 2022

You Need Jesus 

When someone in your squad is cutting the fool, or says something perverted as fuck that makes you laugh.
"Lord, that punannie was so tight, I thought she was underage!"

"You know you need Jesus, right?"

you need jesus 

you need jesus is the name of a local rug installer
tired of that hard wood flooring raising the cost of insulation you need jesus can help 666 777 0909
you need jesus by sanxity July 2, 2019

You need Jesus! 

Its the act of telling someone they need a whole lotta help; referring to people who are way past the point of return
Bethany: I have a foot fetish
Mike: You need Jesus!
Bethany: OMG I know

You need Jesus! 

For when someone is deciding to be a dumb person.
Charlotte: haiuhlssisghj
Shirley: wth?
Charlotte: suygkhjdipdugvciuyhifgvcgiufgh
Shirley: Charlotte, I-
Charlotte: SIYXLKUHIUHKGUODHGJVIUHDB DHODHJVHUODHJVHDUHVDHU
Shirley and Alpen: YOU NEED JESUS!
Charlotte: wha?
Shirley: *SLAPS THE FUCKING BIBLE AGAINST CHARLOTTE'S FACE*

You need to talk to Jesus 

You full of shit; you can tell that dung pudding story to someone else!
You need to talk to Jesus! He might forgive you, but I don't!
More from Urban Dictionary
In sales terms, a whale is a prospect that is significantly larger than an organization’s average customer.

Whales are large and extremely difficult to close. Due to their immense size, they are highly sought-after.

A whale is typically identified at first by a whale hunter on the sales team, but often requires cross-discipline participation in order to close; this includes assistance from operations, engineering, creative, client success, and business development teams.
"Shit...the sales director chewed me out on the sales call this morning. He's totally pissed that I have nothing in my pipeline. I've been focused on this one whale for so long that I haven't had time to prospect for normal-sized deals."
Whale by FQ_GFY February 3, 2020
Word of the Day on September 21, 2026

Concrete cowboy 

A guy who thinks he's a country kinda guy, but in reality lives a comfortable city / suburban life.
Eugene: Look at that dude in the cowboy hat!
Todd: He's just a concrete cowboy.
Word of the Day on September 20, 2026
any hard liquor that is cheap & potent.. eg. relska, popov, potters, evan williams, kamchatka, fireball, rumpleminze, southern comfort, everclear
hey let's get a drink of that?

go ahead
*takes drink* ugh wtf is that?

everclear & bepsi
fucking hobo loko eeessshh
hobo loko by d i z k o 2 0 8 September 14, 2026
Word of the Day on September 19, 2026
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