Top definition
Phrase used to convey the idea that a person's words or actions are of questionable morality or virtue.
Dude: Man, I should SO kill that hooker right now.
Dude2: You need Jesus.
by Whistledink April 07, 2010
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Mar 6 Word of the Day
a spanish word meaning the flipflop
used by latin moms to beat their child's ass
Latin mom: DO U NOT FUCKING LISTEN CHILD
Latin child: OH SHIT NOT LA CHANCLA
by allygator February 07, 2015
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2
Its the act of telling someone they need a whole lotta help; referring to people who are way past the point of return
Bethany: I have a foot fetish
Mike: You need Jesus!
Bethany: OMG I know
via giphy
by realniQQa143 April 27, 2016
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3
When someone in your squad is cutting the fool, or says something perverted as fuck that makes you laugh.
"Lord, that punannie was so tight, I thought she was underage!"

"You know you need Jesus, right?"
by theradicalthinker August 26, 2016
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4
For when someone is deciding to be a dumb person.
Charlotte: haiuhlssisghj
Shirley: wth?
Charlotte: suygkhjdipdugvciuyhifgvcgiufgh
Shirley: Charlotte, I-
Charlotte: SIYXLKUHIUHKGUODHGJVIUHDB DHODHJVHUODHJVHDUHVDHU
Shirley and Alpen: YOU NEED JESUS!
Charlotte: wha?
Shirley: *SLAPS THE FUCKING BIBLE AGAINST CHARLOTTE'S FACE*
by *cough* hello July 03, 2019
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5
you need jesus is the name of a local rug installer
tired of that hard wood flooring raising the cost of insulation you need jesus can help 666 777 0909
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by sanxity July 02, 2019
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