Very verrrrry large mammoth sissy. This sob stomps around yelling "QUIET PLEASE!", commenting on your shirts and things you wear, gives an excessive amount of homework disguising it as class work or "weekly history", and he gives you lunch detentions because in reality, he just doesn't want to eat alone..
Offspring: "Oh my god the moon is following us!"
Mother: "Don't worry sweetie, that's just a Mr. Woolums."
A person you hate intensely not because they deserve such hatred but because they serve as a focus for your general hatred. A healthy way to dispense with excess animosity.
Jake's not really that big an asshole. He just serves as my hate sink.