winter penis 

The phenomenon where, in colder winter months, vasoconstriction leads to an average of 30% less girth in the male genitalia. This is due to the body trying to conserve heat, thereby shutting down certain blood pathways to stay warm; the penis being one of them...

Guy 1: Polar vortex hit this week, and I swear my dick shrunk like a half inch in diameter. I don't even want to show my girlfriend...

Guy 2: Sounds like a case of Winter Penis

winter penis by Rev. Johnny Blumpkin February 3, 2019

penistic winker 

its a relatively non affensive insult taking the words 'penis' and wanker' and combining them to make something not quite as good as either.

man 'oh, this idiot stole my car and killed my dog'

man2 'what a penistic winker'

penistic winker by bee&mays florist February 21, 2009