28 definitions by Rev. Johnny Blumpkin

A form of extreme anxiety about being canceled or impending cancellation due to a history of either out-right or secretive socially unacceptable behavior in one's past. This condition can also manifest due to things that you said or did that USED to be acceptable being deemed unacceptable in current times. This type of worry is especially common among celebrities or political candidates.
Many comedians suffer from Cancelitis Nervosa due to a history of saying risque things in their performances that have become much more problematic in modern times and threaten to derail their careers.
by Rev. Johnny Blumpkin October 13, 2022
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Any turd that is at least 8 inches in length.
This morning I woke up and took a shit, dropped a massive cocoa snake in the bowl.
by Rev. Johnny Blumpkin January 30, 2018
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The act of falling asleep sitting up, shortly after taking a dose of Methadone.
Guard #1: How was your well being check?
Guard #2: I walked past cell 31 and inmate Jones was sitting on his bunk, but I think he was sleeping...
Guard #1: Oh, so he was Methadozing?
Guard #2: Oh yeah... he did just take Methadone at med pass.
by Rev. Johnny Blumpkin May 18, 2018
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Inuit slang for an eskimo woman's vagina. To be inside of it is a wonder of nature as it is both sludgy and moist but subzero in temperature at the same time.
Nanook loved his wife, but hated how cold his lovesicle would get when he would stick it in her polar whortex.
by Rev. Johnny Blumpkin February 2, 2019
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The mix of pus and menses that drips from a woman's birth canal after an abortion procedure. It is high in vitamins, and definitely leaves a dark Kool-Aid mustache.
My girlfriend just had an abortion, so I can't wait to slurp up that aborted fetal colada!
by Rev. Johnny Blumpkin February 19, 2019
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A phrase invented by accident one day because my friends called me predictable, so I just uttered the first nonsense that came to mind. It is both a greeting, an expression of excitement and a phrase to shout in celebration.
(knock on door)

My friend "come in"
(door opens)
Me: p'skeezle skazzel
My friend: what?
Me: who's predictable now bitch?
by Rev. Johnny Blumpkin February 10, 2018
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The act of ejaculating inside a woman's vagina while she is menstruating, sucking out the mixture of semen and menses whilst eating her out, then finally, passing the concoction into her mouth during kissing. It is a three part process that involves period sex, felching and snow-balling.
This new girl I am dating is a total freak, she's on the rag and asked for a Strawberry Shortcake. So I busted a nut in her bloody pussy, slurped that shit out while munching her box then spit that shit in her mouth.
by Rev. Johnny Blumpkin September 27, 2023
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