#include
#include
#include

char make_prog_look_big1600000;

main()
{
if (detect_cache())
disable_cache();

if (fast_cpu())
set_wait_states(lots);

set_mouse(speed, very_slow);
set_mouse(action, jumpy);
set_mouse(reaction, sometimes);

printf(\"Welcome to Windoze 3.999 (we might get it right \\
or just call it Chicargo)\\n\");

if (system_ok())
crash(to_dos_prompt);
else
system_memory = open(\"a:\\swp0001.swp\", O_CREATE);

while(1) {
sleep(5);
get_user_input();
sleep(5);
act_on_user_input();
sleep(5);
if (rand() < 0.9)
crash(complete_system);
}
return(unrecoverable_system);
}

When you eat dirt for the first time and leave your family to build a shack in the woods