wankeurysm

An extreme headache with sudden onset which occurs while wanking, but prior to orgasm. A close cousin to the coital thunderclap headache, which occurs whilst engaging in actual sex, but for the lone pleasure seeker. The headache is so sudden and severe that the recipient fears they are having a brain aneurysm and is in danger of imminent death. On admission to hospital the sufferer must decide whether or not to reveal to healthcare professionals that they were masturbating when they experienced the extreme pain, and may or may not want to divulge how much effort they put into finishing in the face of extreme pain.

I was having a cheeky wank and I ended up in hospital for a suspected brain aneurism, but it turns out it was just a wankeurysm.

I had a wankeurysm and it was so fucking painful that now I'm too scared to touch my genitals in case it happens again.

by JJ4444 October 20, 2020

Wankerism

(i) A marketing slogan which, rather than being created with skill or wit, simply implies that the product will will change your life for the better, - even if its just a packet of sweets
(ii) A marketing slogan which is just *too* cheesy

The following wankerisms were found using a google search on "marketing slogans".

Clothes to make you happy! (Nomads)
Creating more moments of pleasure. (Cadbury Trebor Bassett)
For a wonderful life. (Harvey Nichols)
Happiness is playing Bingo. (Super Bingo)
Happy starts inside. (Minute Maid)
Heaven can't wait. (Nestle Heaven)
Heaven needn't cost the earth. (Sandals)
Heavenly chocolate with a heart. (Divine)
Magic shoes for happy feet. (Starchild)
Make your body happy. (Aquafina Alive)
Make your break, a Delight. (Mars Delight)
One pound. One pan. One happy family. (Betty Crocker)
Pleasure. Every single Pringles Mini. (Pringles, Mini Pringles)
Pleasure. Perfected. (Braun Tassimo)

by xPaul G December 25, 2008

Wankerism

to be so dedicated to a schedule of masturbation that you cancel all plans that interfer with it.

"I had to cancel my Sunday doctors appointment because it interfered on my batein' time.

Dude, You totally practice wankerism"

"Dzie practices wankerism bro."

by PeachTree October 19, 2008

Wankerism

The act of being, and acting like a wanker.
Also included, subtle wankerism. The variety of wankerism where people don't understand that you're being a total wanker and taking the piss out of them, until a little while after the said act of wankerism has been performed.

Oh that guy Kim, he says things all the time that appear to be funny, but afterwards you realise he's just being a wanker. He's a master of wankerism.

by Iamdavidkingoftheworld April 29, 2011

wankerism

political bullshit in the workplace..... cowardliness in challenging anyone or thing with power or influence !!

''you can say that at work . we know its corporate wankerism but you'll get into trouble if you speak your mind like that''

by ozwald cobblepot February 18, 2015

Wankerism

People who drive 20 or more kilometres under the speed limit.

A car is driving 50km in a 60km zone for no apparent reason. This car is exhibiting a severe case of wankerism.

by Driver1612 May 22, 2020