Waking off

When a male wakes up with morning wood, then proceeds to relieve himself by masturbating.

"I woke up this morning and caught Dave waking off! I enjoyed it thoroghly..."

by J-Raq October 22, 2006

Wacking Off In My Tool Shed

Addictive behaviour conducted in demeaning and surreptitious circumstances.

(On finding a dieting woman wolfing ice cream right out of the bucket while standing in front of the freezer at 2 am): "Are you whacking off in the tool shed again?"

by Master of Procrastination April 10, 2003

wiking off

A neologism. The practice of reading essentially random Wikipedia pages for entertainment or as a procrastination technique; alludes to intellectual masturbation.

I caught my boyfriend wiking off at the computer the other night.

Quit wiking off and get back to work!

by yeastbeast October 10, 2005

wacking off

the same thing as masterbating

i was wacking off for 2 hours straight last night.

by Alexanderia October 27, 2006

Wanking off

1) masturbating
2) Being lazy.

1) Mom was horrified when she caught Jimmy wanking off to internet porn.
2) Would you quit wanking off and get back to work already?

by PapaPalpatine2008 May 15, 2015

SYNONYMS: chokin' the chicken, spanking the monkey, flogging the dolphin, beating off, jackin' off, buffing the banana, wanking off, playing with yourself, tootin' your horn, fighting the purple helmet warrior, rubbing the one-eyed snake, commiting spermi

Some neurosurgeon posted a definition for masturbate with a bunch of synonyms and decided it would be a good idea to make them all one big link, which is how you got here to this page. Here's to that genius.

I hope that person catches AIDS from masturbating.



SYNONYMS: chokin' the chicken, spanking the monkey, flogging the dolphin, beating off, jackin' off, buffing the banana, wanking off, playing with yourself, tootin' your horn, fighting the purple helmet warrior, rubbing the one-eyed snake, commiting spermicide, taking your turn at the self-serve station, fishing with your zipper trout, beating the shit out of your midget friend, makin' mayo, polishing the family jewels, test-firing the old meat missle, wrapping the hand around the penis and moving it in a thrusting movement.

by Catamount June 21, 2008

Wanking off a Smurf

When people have blue hands which have been dyed with ink, paint etc they are said to have wanked off a smurf.

Why are your hands blue? Have you been wanking off a smurf or something?

by thanksthatsastupidsuggestion March 7, 2021