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toluptuous vitties 

An alternative pronunciation of "voluptuous titties" created by switching the first two letters of the afforementioned phrase. Done so to disguise talking about the breasts of a woman who is nearby.
Dave: Damn, that girl has some toluptuous vitties.
Girl passing by: What did you just say?
Dave: Nothing.
toluptuous vitties by Aandy August 10, 2008

Dick Toupee 

A mustache that your friend is proud of but you want to humiliate them in front of a group so you congratulate them on having something that would normally reside on the top of a penis.
Whoa! That's a nice dick toupee!!
Dick Toupee by PieKnee October 6, 2016

tampa bay toupee 

when a girl gives a bald man a blow job, she makes him ejaculate in her mouth and then spits the cum on his head. She then shaves off his pubes and sticks them on his semen covered head, thus making a homemade hair piece
fred came over last night and i fixed his bald head with a tampa bay toupee.
just another phrase for blowjob like top, fellatio, getting head or what that mouth do.
"I only fuck with bitches for their toupee (their top, nigga)" - Rich Homie Quan from the song "Flex"

presidential toupe 

Styling of one's pubic hair to mimic the fashion of our current President's orange 'do
Man, did you see the presidential toupee sticking out of her bathing suit?!

Hot toupee 

A hot toupee requires two men, and one must be bald. One man must ejaculate onto the otherman's bald head. Giveing him a head full of cum to act as hair.
Man, we're you at Joe's party Friday night? Him and Andrew were giving each other "hot toupee's".
Hot toupee by Sharky mcfly March 16, 2016