The Turning
Burger is a lesser known (yet undeniably effective) strategy for consuming burgers, sandwiches, and any other foods with the same basic property of multiple ingredients being loosely held together.
The leading heuristic for eating burgers in modern times involves approaching it from
one side, and
one side only. While this does grant the benefit of allowing
one to "eat lazily", this crude and outdated procedure suffers from
one major downfall.
Of course, this would be 'meat shift'. According to Urban
Dictionary, 'meat shift' is defined as:
"a phenomenon that occurs when eating a hamburger or
sandwich exclusively from
one side so the
meat and other ingredients shift, causing the last couple bites to have an unproportional mixture of ingredients"
Recently, a breakthrough was made and an algorithm, The Turning Burger, has been proved to be optimal for burger consumption. The strategy involves 'turning' the burger slightly after each and every bite. This causes the ingredients to constantly shift towards the center, setting up the optimal last bite, packed full of all the ingredients the burger or sandwich has to offer.
Notes:
- theta, the amount
one must 'turn' the burger varies depending on the amount of force the individual applies with each bite as well as the slipperiness of the ingredients at hand
Person
1: Oh no! My last bite from this
burger is all bread!
Person 2: You haven't heard of The Turning Burger? My last bite includes all the ingredients you've always dreamed of!
Person
1: =(
