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Jessica the coolest 

Jessica the coolest is the third one in the group that had the big ass forehead and big ass sky scraper teeth.

Survival Of The Coolest 

Derives from Survival of the fittest by Charles Darwin, almost the same concept.

Think of your typical high school. An individual, or a group, eventually becomes the coolest shit in town. Once the spotlight is on them, the people who are uncool eventually dwindle and implode (or realistically...their genes die off and all the cool kids go to the [summer of '69).
Person 1 and 2 get noticed more than person 3.

Person 3 becomes less noticed for the things that person 1 and 2 do (attention whoring...or just being themselves).

Person 1 and 2 eventually are the Survival Of The Coolest and person 3 does not reproduce and eventually his or her genes die off and are never seen in anyone else again.
Survival Of The Coolest by Le Derpson December 16, 2011

the coolest person ever 

me
Joe- Hey Stranger! Who is the coolest person ever?
Stranger- That would be me...

Larry the Coolest!

LARRY THE COOLEST! is ALWAYS the COOLEST! guy wherever he goes - as opposed to wussy non-Larry wussies (or is it pussies?) Once again just to clarify, LARRY THE COOLEST! IS ALWAYS THE COOLEST! AND HE DOES NOT PLAY MUCH BUT WHEN HE DOES, HE IS THE COOLEST! AND PLAYZ TO WINZ AND HE WINZ WHEN HE PLAYZ!!!

Please be sure to keep in mind that Larry the COOLEST! is the COOLEST! guy wherever he goes; especially compared to those tuna smelling non-Larry the COOLEST! posers who constantly emulate Larry the COOLEST! when he is acting the COOLEST! which is 24/7/365 and basically all of the time and space including when he is sleeping or ordering a #2 in the bathroom at McDonalds.

The bottom line is that it's to cool to even try to imagine being LARRY THE COOLEST!!!

I'm sure everyone in the world with a functioning brain agrees with this statement. GTG A-holez!!!

Footnote: There are some guyz named Larry who are not as cool as the True One and Only Larry the Coolest! (ME and MYSELF AND I AND THE 4 WALLS) bc there is only one of me. Got it?

If you are a guy and having a hard time with your friend Richard, feel free to contact Virgina Johnson for some sympathy. Ladies who feel tense, perhaps like they need a nice release or five to relax their pelvic area and rest of their body can contact Dick Johnson for assistance. Larry the COOLEST! told me to tell you that he made sure that everyone would leave this definition with a smile. GN, soon you in the morning. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Some days I just wonder how it would be to be Larry the COOLEST! OF THE COOL PUSSY MAGNETS! He gets ever girl, guy, disease and everything in between that he wants and doesn't want.

It's not easy bein' Larry the COOLEST!

Having to spend each day
The target of the ladies' droolings,
When I think it could be nicer
Bein' Dick or Peter or Putz
Or something much more uncircumcised like that,
It's not easy bein' Larry the COOLEST!
It seems you blend in
With so absolutely NO ordinary things
And people tend to follow you around and emulate you
'Cause you someone they cannot be
Like be able to think quickly and plan ahead in life and avoid drama

So I can look at the stars in the sky.
But being Larry the Coolest! since the moment I was born
And the nurses fought over who got wipe the shit off my baby ass,

And baby crap can be stinky like watery nasty adult diarrhea

Or just regular smelly dog or weasel crap by a river or a tall tree
When there's no chance in life to ever be like Larry the COOLEST!
It could make you wonder why
But, why wonder, why wonder?
I'm green and it'll do fine
Because I'm from Mars and you are from Uranus!!!
Larry the Coolest! by Dr. Real Nasty February 22, 2023

The Coolest Jew 

Israel: We want The Coolest Jew to be president.
Austria: Who?
Israel: Oh, we mean Albert Einstein.

absolute zero -273.15˚C is the coolest 

a phrase on one of the shirts of an urbandictionary ad.

not funny at all, but a display of no sense in fashion
the chick wearing the shirt that says "absolute zero -273.15˚C is the coolest" has no sense of fashion or humor and has no social skills
More from Urban Dictionary

square grouper

Nickname given to bales of marijuana thrown overboard or out of airplanes. Origin is reportedly from members of the US Coast Guard in the area of Southern Florida.
"Base we've got some square groupers floating outside of Miami harbor."
square grouper by slipsheet November 6, 2004
Word of the Day on October 7, 2026
A girl who does ballet and only talks about ballet. Her schedule is filled with dance classes which does not allow her to do any other activity.
"Hey, do you know that girl Sally?"

"Yeah, she's kind of annoying. All she ever talks about it ballet."

"Wow, what a Bunhead."

"Hey Sally, you want to hang out this weekend?"
"I can't, I have dance."
"You're such a Bunhead."

"Yeah... I know."
Bunhead by Jen00 October 24, 2014
Word of the Day on October 6, 2026

trucker's tan 

A sunburn or suntan focused on the left arm. It is caused by the left side of the body being the only half that gets exposed to sunlight while driving. Presumably, it would be located on the right side of the body in countries where they drive on the left side of the road.
I had a trucker's tan after driving for 10 straight hours on a sunny day.
Word of the Day on October 5, 2026
The phenomenon where adults salivate at children's toys
Every time I walk into the toy aisle, I catch myself kidulting over the latest action figures and LEGO sets!
kidulting by Emotional Cruiser October 12, 2025
Word of the Day on October 4, 2026
British slang for a scientist or technical expert, esp . when the speaker is not certain of the expert’s specific field of study. Not necessarily derogatory, but typically used by persons without a technical background. In the US, the equivalent would be “egghead”, “squint”, or “geek.”

Origin of the word is unknown. Started sometime in World War 2. Given the typical evolution of British slang, could easily have started because what these experts did was confusing or “baffling” to the common person.
According to the boffins downstairs, the murderer used a serrated blade.
Boffin by Agnon February 11, 2023
Word of the Day on October 3, 2026

Pee Calculus

When you have to pee in a movie but don’t want to miss anything, and must do the following mental equation: will the amount I have to pee cause enough discomfort to diminish my attention capacity for the remainder of the movie to an extent which is greater than the amount of the movie I would miss by making a mad dash to the restroom.
I saw Satantango last night, wonderful film but by the 5th hour I had to start doing pee calculus.
Pee Calculus by anorlondo October 1, 2026
Word of the Day on October 2, 2026
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