The Carrot Farmer 

The act of going into your fridge, taking out a carrot, and instead of using it to penetrate your sexual partner, you shove it down your dick hole as far as you can, thus causing profuse bleeding, then remove said carrot and insert it into the anus of your partner, and cum. Then you take your dick out and make your partner give you head WHILE still bleeding. While their, giving you head, you are playing Minecraft in the background. Your partner then stops and asks what your doing, so you take the controller and start penetrating your partner until they start to bleed. Then you eat out your partner and the combination of liquids and blood makes you vomit. So you vomit in their mouth which makes them vomit all over you and themselves, then you continue to have sex while still playing Minecraft. Your dick, not being able to take that much force, splits down the center causing massive amounts of blood which your partner then drinks up and vomits into your anus. You then shit all of the blood, liquids, and vomit into that person's genitalia, which then the muscles then clamp down unto.

Person 1: Hey dude! I heard you got it on with girl name here last night!
Person 2 (Over phone from infirmary at psychiatric ward): Yeah man! I gave her the ol' carrot farmer!
Person 1: Holy fuck dude! You did the carrot farmer?! Stay away from me you fucking psycho!

The Carrot Farmer by Nubula February 18, 2018