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Teaching Crabs How To Read 

Verb,

1. The action of teaching crabs how to read

2. The process by which crustaceans are made literate,

Both of these are considered Forbidden Knowledge of the highest order, and must never be spoken of, outside of complete secrecy. Many a fine man has fallen to the curiosity of teaching literacy to crabs, and have been executed or imprisoned- or worse- for their crimes.

Teaching crabs how to read is a gateway crime, in the ancient days, many of the most infamous dark lords used literate crabs as minions, for it allowed them to use more powerful and complex methods to expand their dominion over our small realm. In the darkest of days, crabs as big as houses would be sent in droves to raze cities, Whole countries were brought to their knees by the terrors wrought by the dark lords and their armies.

The last of the Literate Ones, as they are known by Crabfolk, was slain in AD 1356.

Ever since, the Crabfolk have lived in harmony with humankind.
Billy got burned at the stake for heresy!
I heard he was teaching crabs how to read!
Related Words

keita tachibana 

Keita Tachibana is 1/3 of the popular Japanese boyband w-inds. Born 16/18/85, he is most known for his good looks and amazing vocal range. Keita recently debuted solo with a song named Michisirube of which he wrote the lyrics himself. His passions include playing piano & guitar, soccer, singing, eating meat and working out. Keita has said he dislikes slutty girls who wear clothes that reveal all, speed dating and untidiness.
"...and Keita Tachibana was looking all gorgeous and oozing smex at the concert"
keita tachibana by Mrs Tachibana September 22, 2008
the best person you'll ever meet, chill as hell, sexy as hell, and cool as hell.
thach is the coolest person ever, he's so chill
thach by secretivebear March 7, 2015
A large, two handed sword similar in style to the katana, but with the hilt and blade curving in different directions. Often used by samurai on horseback.
The samurai cut the stupid fucker's head off with his tachi sword.
tachi by Darin Saine May 22, 2006

Teachified 

The after matter of being teached or taught.
Hey, when did you get Teachified by Mrs. Pickles?
Teachified by TTV TriX_321 October 23, 2019
1. a large Japanese sword

2. a slang word for the "top" or active partner in a homosexual relationship. Probably an abbreviation of "tachi-yaku" (standing-role), a Japanese word for the lead male protagonist in kabuki and other forms of traditional Japanese drama.
1. samurai wa tachi de teki no kubi o haneta ("The samurai lopped off the head of his enemy with a big sword.")

2. kare ga tachi da sou de sugoku umai to kiita yo ("It seems that he is a top, and I've heard that he's awesomely good at it.")
tachi by nek0mimi December 20, 2009