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telewanking 

Ostensibly at home working but in fact at home jerking off.
The states and the feds have instituted a widely popular system of telewanking that allows folks to collect their full paychecks while honing their binge watching skills.
telewanking by Dr Bunnygirl March 19, 2021

jellywanker 

a jellywanker is somebody who sticks their penis into a jar of jelly and excessively masturbate with it.
That Fagot is such a jellywanker!!
jellywanker by rawrzhar December 22, 2010

Golden Tallywacker 

When you have such a great poop it gives you an erection.
*Joe walks out of bathroom.*

Joe: Man, I just got a golden tallywacker!

Tallywacker Tickle 

1) A polite way of saying cock slap. Often results in a mushroom tattoo if done properly. If not done probably often just ends up in an angry person. Reasons for this include the recipient showing a complete lack of respect towards the giver, a show of male (or female in strange circumstances) dominance and also the most popular seems to be just for a bit of fun. Often uses a left to right motion and in extreme circumstance of severe lack of respect the giver is allowed to add a right to left motion therefore resulting in a mushroom tattoo on each side of the recipients face.
2) A royal English way of saying a handjob.
1)Don't disrespect me girl or i will give you a tallywacker tickle that you will never forget, everytime you look in the mirror you will see your mushroom tattoo and think "damn, i shouldn't have disrespected him"
2) man: Fancy giving me a handjob
girl: No way thats disgusting
man: How about a tallywacker tickle then?
girl: oh one does love to give a good ol tallywacker tickle
Tallywacker Tickle by Lenny3k January 19, 2009

tallywacker

wow look at the size of my hard tallywacker
tallywacker by billy February 3, 2003

tallywack 

To jack off.

Also known as: slippin' the fishy, spanking it, choking the monkey, cranking the pecker, or teaching the one-eyed china man how to dance.
"Please, tallywack me darlin.'"
tallywack by Poke My Poker April 14, 2004