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switist • Shitistic • Shitist • Shitistis • Shitistist • suitist • switit • Mormon/LDS stitistics • shit is tight
shitistics
Well... I know a man his age (76) should have produced about 24,320lbs (11,030 kg) of shit in his lifetime so far. If we convert those 76 years into days we have 27759 days. Now it is normal and healthy to have a bowel movement anywhere between three times a week to three times a day, but my dad always ate dinner at the same time and used the bathroom approximately once a day. Therefore we can conclude that he has shat approximately 27759 times in his lifetime, maybe a little less or a little more. If we divide those 24,320lbs he has dropped in his lifetime with the days he has lived, we should get 0,87lbs which is 0,39kg and therefore we can take a guess and say that his last shit weighted about 0,87 pounds or 0,39kg. Now the average weight of a human log is around 1/4 of a pound to 1 pound (or 0,11kg to 0,45kg). With this information we can tell that the turd was a little on the skinny side but he is healthy and probably doing well. This is shitistics.
shitistics by wanwanwan September 21, 2022
Mormon/LDS stitistics
everyone seems to be getting them wrong so here the record straight. these are the statictics as of apiral 2011
Worldwide Church Statistics
Membership 14,131,467
Missions 340
Missionaries 52,483
Missionary Training Centers 15
Temples (current 2011 number) 134
Congregations 28,660
Universities and Colleges 4
Seminary Students Enrollment 369,373
Institute Students Enrollment 348,111
Family History Centers 4,648
Countries with Family History Centers 127
Countries Receiving Humanitarian Aid Since 1985 178
Value of Humanitarian Assistance Since 1985 $1.3 Billions
Welfare Service Missionaries
(Including Humanitarian Service Missionaries) 8,583
Languages Church Materials Available 166
LDS Worldwide Statistics (Selected Countries):
Country Percent LDS Country Number of LDS
Tonga 46.0% USA 5,503,192
Samoa 36.0% Mexico 980,053
American Samoa 24.1% Brazil 897,091
Niue 12.0% Chile 534,754
Kiribati 10.7% Philippines 537,014
Tahiti 7.8% Peru 402,230
Cook Islands 8.3% Argentina 339,929
Marshall Islands 7.0% United Kingdom 180,095
Chile 3.3% Guatemala 196,777
Palau 2.1% Canada 166,442
USA 1.9%
Uruguay 2.5%
New Zealand 2.35%
Guatemala 1.34%
Honduras 1.6%
Bolivia 1.6%
Ecuador 1.2%
Peru 1.4%
Belize 1.0%
Worldwide Church Statistics
Membership 14,131,467
Missions 340
Missionaries 52,483
Missionary Training Centers 15
Temples (current 2011 number) 134
Congregations 28,660
Universities and Colleges 4
Seminary Students Enrollment 369,373
Institute Students Enrollment 348,111
Family History Centers 4,648
Countries with Family History Centers 127
Countries Receiving Humanitarian Aid Since 1985 178
Value of Humanitarian Assistance Since 1985 $1.3 Billions
Welfare Service Missionaries
(Including Humanitarian Service Missionaries) 8,583
Languages Church Materials Available 166
LDS Worldwide Statistics (Selected Countries):
Country Percent LDS Country Number of LDS
Tonga 46.0% USA 5,503,192
Samoa 36.0% Mexico 980,053
American Samoa 24.1% Brazil 897,091
Niue 12.0% Chile 534,754
Kiribati 10.7% Philippines 537,014
Tahiti 7.8% Peru 402,230
Cook Islands 8.3% Argentina 339,929
Marshall Islands 7.0% United Kingdom 180,095
Chile 3.3% Guatemala 196,777
Palau 2.1% Canada 166,442
USA 1.9%
Uruguay 2.5%
New Zealand 2.35%
Guatemala 1.34%
Honduras 1.6%
Bolivia 1.6%
Ecuador 1.2%
Peru 1.4%
Belize 1.0%
Mormon/LDS stitistics by rinnua July 5, 2011
shitistics
The mathematical process by which one or a group measures the quality and size of their shits. A way to compare shits between competing friends/enemies. There is an average shit for humanity, as taken by Jesus Christ unto St. Peter's face (the Holy Shit), and shits greater than or less than the Holy Shit is measured by standard deviation in terms of chippermonkeys. Shitistics apply to size, girth, smell, denisty, color, and toilet clogging ability. Shitistics are measured by a neutral arbiter in a "who took the biggest shit" dispute.
Jason: Shit dude, I took a huge shit this morning.
Matt: What are the shitistics you shithead?
Jason: Size: 1.2 chippermonkeys, Girth: 3.8 chippermonkeys, Smell: 2.8 chippermonkeys, Density: -1.9 chippermonkeys, Color: 0.2 chippermonkeys, Toilet Clogging: 10.0 chippermonkeys.
Matt: I guess thats a decent shit.
Jason: Shit, I had to buy new socks.
Matt: Tell Craig to come measure the shitistics on the deuce I just dropped.
Matt: What are the shitistics you shithead?
Jason: Size: 1.2 chippermonkeys, Girth: 3.8 chippermonkeys, Smell: 2.8 chippermonkeys, Density: -1.9 chippermonkeys, Color: 0.2 chippermonkeys, Toilet Clogging: 10.0 chippermonkeys.
Matt: I guess thats a decent shit.
Jason: Shit, I had to buy new socks.
Matt: Tell Craig to come measure the shitistics on the deuce I just dropped.
shitistics by Cream Puff69 October 13, 2012
suitist
This restaurant only caters to suitists.
Shitistist
Shitistist by Saiiiikkk November 14, 2019
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Spies have been known to use dead drops, using various techniques to hide the items and to signal that the drop has been made. Drug dealers use this as well.
A common place is to duct tape the item to the underside of a toilet cover in a public restroom.
A signal is sometimes used as well to indicate there is something to pickup, like a pile of stones in a certain formation. After checking the drop the signal is removed.
Spies have been known to use dead drops, using various techniques to hide the items and to signal that the drop has been made. Drug dealers use this as well.
A common place is to duct tape the item to the underside of a toilet cover in a public restroom.
A signal is sometimes used as well to indicate there is something to pickup, like a pile of stones in a certain formation. After checking the drop the signal is removed.
"The dead drop is the restroom toilet at the Gulf station at the corner of Commercial Ave. and Georges Rd."
dead drop by rubberroom July 23, 2008
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A "No Surprises Wedding," or NSW, is a wedding invitation designation that tells attendees that there can be no unplanned announcements, engagements, events or speeches at the wedding - all actions must be pre-approved by the couple. Anyone who performs an unapproved "surprise" will be asked to leave the wedding early.
This designation comes from Reddit, where so many stories of bad wedding behavior indicated a need to communicate expectations for the wedding behavior of attendees.
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You are cordially invited to the nuptials of Brian and Tom on October 31 at noon.
Please note that this wedding is child-free (under 10) and a No Surprises Wedding (NSW). Reach out to wedding planner Sami Smith to request approvals or exceptions; please note that exceptions will be rare. Limited child care for under-10s will be available. All approvals will be noted and included in planning. Unapproved, or surprise exceptions, will result in guests being asked to leave.
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No Surprises Wedding by dbdefenestrate August 27, 2023
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ulzzang
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ulzzang by `r i k kit t y February 26, 2008
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