schwiftism

The philosophy that nothing matters as long as you're Schwifty–
In short, freedom, hapenis, and fun is above all other purposes.

Boss: Hi did you shit your pants on the first day of the job?
New hire: Yes I was getting Schwifty.

Boss: Okay I don't care, all that matters is your practice of schwiftism.

COUNTEREXAMPLE: not Schwifty (Schwiftless)
Boss: Hi are your pants still white?
New hire: Yes and I didn't even shit on the floor
Boss: I don't care.. enough to EMPLOY YOU LOLLLLOEHAHSHEHE

schwiftism by Schwiftists January 23, 2023

Swiftism 

Swiftism is a religion centred around the pop-star Taylor Swift.

Swifties welcome everyone to join Swiftism, as we try to be inclusive. The only people not welcome are Kanye West or John Mayer stans.

There are many common practices associated with Swiftism. Some Swifties choose to wear a red scarf, paper rings or other significant items to remind themselves of Taylor Swift and to show others that they are a part of Swiftism.

There are also many holidays celebrated by Swifties, which are marked on official Swiftie calendars. These include, but are not limited to album birthdays, Swift family member birthdays and national snake day.

It is important to recognise the Fearless heart hands, an iconic gesture of Swiftism.

Other traditions include quoting the sacred lore (e.g. you are not asleep, your mind is alive), drinking coffee/tea/hot chocolate on a Wednesday in a cafe, Christmas themed birthday parties and adopting too many cats.

The Swiftie national anthem is Maroon. Generally, the chorus is song in a monotone voice at appropriate occasions.

Some commonly held values in Swiftism are kindness, fearlessness, speaking now (not later), joy, friends, revenge, love, reading, self respect and never sleeping.

Example 1:
Betty recently joined Swiftism, and now she always wears a red scarf.

Example 2:
Swiftism is a very popular religion.

Swiftism by Youheardtherumoursfromme September 2, 2023

swiftism 

religion that worships taylor swift and a pantheon of lower, but no less amazing, gods. in this religion, taylor swift is the main god. conan gray, olivia rodrigo, gracie abrams, maisie peters, phoebe bridgers, etc. are all lesser gods in the swiftism pantheon. in swiftism, false god is played every wednesday (“on a wednesday in a cafe we began again”) while we drink taylor lattes and diet coke. everyone in swiftism must complete a pilgrimage to at least one notable location from taylor’s life i.e. cornelia street, nashville, new york, wyomissing, etc. joe alwyn is not a god, but almost like a saint. anyone who has dated, met, or interacted with taylor in the past can consider themselves blessed.

ex. 1
*goes to see s/o’s family*

s/o mom “i hear you don’t practice traditional religion”
me “no i am a swiftie and practice swiftism”

ex. 2

person 1 “taylor swift is such a god”
person 2 “i know i’m seriously considering joining swiftism”

swiftism by everwhores13 December 19, 2021

Swiftism 

A cult-like religion centered around American singer-songwriter and actress Taylor Swift. People who believe in said religion are called Swifties, and I AM ONE OF THEM.

Person A: Hi.
Swiftie B: Can I suggest a playlist for you to play?
Person A: Ok...

*Person A plays the playlist and likes the music*

Swiftie B: That was God, I mean..., Taylor's music.
Swiftie A: Yay, I converted into Swiftism!

Swiftism by 1989stan13 December 29, 2023