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schlemiel 

a habitual bungler, a klutz
A schlimazel's toast always falls butter-side down. A schlemiel always drops the knife.
schlemiel by mandingoe September 24, 2004
Related Words

schlemiel 

A person so inept even inanimate objects pick on them.
Don't let that schlemiel touch anything. If it doesn't break he will hurt himself or both.
schlemiel by Frank Lisa August 8, 2006

schemies 

a scottish term, the term used for those brought up in housing schemes in Edinburgh, similar to the definition for neds.
whit u lookin at ya bam, i'll burst u
schemies by sarah October 26, 2003
British

One who hails from a council estate. Can be spotted in the wild by their traditional garb of baseball cap, tracksuit and Reebok Classics, and their native mating call of "C'mon man, jus 'gis a fag c'mon man just wan, fuckinnnnnnnnnn' just wan fag man, c'mon ya tight cunt, fuckinnnnnnnn'".

A common rodent in Scotland and Northern England.
"You and yer wee schemie rodents can fuck off back tae Leith. And take them bottles of Bucky wit ya tae"
schemie by influx August 25, 2002
An adolescent hooligan who has been born and raised on a council estate (hence schemie) either male or female, noted for wearing white shell suits, fake bling and having their trackie bottoms tucked into their socks
Schemie by Will Innes December 28, 2005

scheemer 

(n) a person who often lies to their friends and/or their boyfriends/girlfriends, to go hang out with someone sneakily.
Scheemer: "Hey guys uhh Jen, my mom wants me home by nine....."
Friend: Alright late scheemer
scheemer by The Real LG March 14, 2007