Denizen of a council housing estate or housing "scheme", hence use of the vernacular, "schemie". Commonly found in the East Coast of Scotland and can be viewed as an appropriate equilevlant to the West Coast "
ned". Prone to wearing tasteless branded clothing in excruciatingly bright colours - classically white. Frequently used namebrands inc. Henry Lloyd, Nike, Reebok, Nickelson, Tommi Hilfigger, Adidas and Ralph
Lauren. The common schemie will, in most cases, also have a malign addiction to Burberry caps in particular. Said caps are normally placed upon the individuals head at a 45-90 agle allowing breathtaking views of the common schemie`s equally breathtaking lack of
respect for conventionally attractive hairstyles. As an alternative to the established norms of appealling hairdos, schemies revel in the daily act of gelling their front fringe into a cement strong array of spikes that descend onto the
top of their forehead. Furthermore, chunky and lurid
gold jewellry is brazenly displayed at every opportunity in desperate attempt to appeal to the, equally luridly addorned, opposite sex (
NB When observing the female schemie you
may confirm your sighting as authentic by the prescence of
gold hooped rings ranging anywhere from a 3 inch to a 3 foot diameter). It must be duly noted that it is highly likely that all of the clothing or jewellery worn by a shemie is of a counterfeit nature - the dole only stretches so far.
The overly generous UK social security system is the backbone of this curious species and without it they would surely perish.
Finally, the common schemie
may be easily identified by his passion for consuming vile cheap liqour such as Buckfast Tonic Wine, Tennets Super T lager or Diamond White
high-strength cider and/or numerous varities of illegal narcotics. This behaviour
may occur at any
time onwards from approxiamtely 8 am and generally ceases upon total intoxication and collapse or arrest by the local constabulary. During such
time, schemies will, in general, become even more malevonant tomwards
innocent members of the public than
normal and it is advisable to avoid contact with them if at all possible. However if interaction is inevitable then it is in your best interests to stand your ground and throw the first punch. This is due to the fact that deep down, all schemies are in fact chickenshit little motherfuckers who will flee from an unafraid opponent and seek out weaker propositions instead (such as OAPs or school children). Beware: The schemie population is expanding at a worrying rate due to a lack of education, contraception, intelligence and a sense of social resposibility. This situation is also further exacerbated by a reliance on social security that encourages their proliferation. Shoot on sight.
