Retirement

A myth. Something hard working people look forward to all their working lives, only to be disappointed by the fact that they can't afford to live off there substantially small pensions for the rest of their lives.

(Thursday afternoon)
fred:Tomorrow marks the day of my retirement
Boss: Nice how did your investment in the 401k plan turn out
fred:What is that?
Boss:See you on Monday fred

by billzilla October 7, 2010

retirement

throwing away a machine or human after it is decided that they are so worn out or used up that there is no value left. the human gets a small pension that is not enough to live on, the machine is junked.

retirement like death comes to us all.

by knowman February 21, 2009

retirement

Retirement is when a robot that strongly resembles a human is killed. Because humans do not consider robots to be "alive" in the first place, killing a robotic servant of mankind is seen as "retiring" a machine and not murder.

The term originated in the openning scrawl of the science fiction film masterpiece, "Blade Runner", desribing what Blade Runners do to "Replicants" (robots so advanced they are indestinguishable from humans):

"Special police squads - BLADE RUNNER UNITS - had orders to shoot to kill, upon detection, any trespassing Replicant.
This was not called execution. It was called retirement."

Loosely, the is often used in scifi circles to refer to any instance when a (usually) humanoid robot that is designed to look human is terminated by a human, such as on the 2004 Battlestar Galactica with the new humanoid Cylons (the new Cylon models are very similar to Replicants, and Edward James Olmos appears in both Blade Runner and BSG).

"Have you ever retired a human by mistake, Mr. Deckard?"
"The report read "Routine retirement of a replicant." That didn't make me feel any better about shooting a woman in the back."

"Cally just retired Boomer!" (Cally has just shot and "killed" Boomer, who was revealed as a Cylon sleeper unit).
"Commander Adama retired Leoben by beating him with a flashlight"
"Starbuck's retirement of Simon was very graphic"
"Cally should get a medal for retiring that Cylon whore Boomer"

by Ricimer October 23, 2005

Retirement

Retirement is viewed as "a time of happiness" by 82% of people in Britain - much higher than the global average.

I think that i will really enjoy my retirement

by Tom Elgie June 18, 2006

Retirement Funeral

This came about while talking with a friend about the death of someone who was planning to retire, but passed away before retiring. I told him that we would be attending his retirement funeral.
Retirement Funeral - a service held for a person who planned to retire, but died before retiring.
Jason A.L.

has to be 85 years old, if he doesn't retire soon we will be attending his Retirement Funeral.

by JJJAL August 20, 2019

retirement balls

When someone working for the government or the military retires from their job and only afterward comes clean about all of the corruption and mistakes that the government makes.

"Dude, legalization is just around the corner I'm telling you! The former police chief of Seattle gave an interview and even he said that the war on drugs, especially marijuana prohibition, has been destructive, expensive, and a complete failure."
"He's got major retirement balls man. Why didn't he just say that like 5 years ago?"

by Tijani January 25, 2009

retirement plan

A large caliber handgun kept by one who does not want to get old, so that he won't have to.

"What the Hell are you doing with a .50 Desert Eagle that you've never used?"

"That's just my retirement plan."

by [e-mail] March 7, 2009