country matters

old slang term for sexual relations.

I write separately only because it would be a shame to not quote Shakespeare on this one.
Hamlet: Lady, shall I lie in your lap?
Ophelia: No, my lord.
Hamlet: I mean my head upon your lap.
Ophelia: Aye, my lord.
Hamlet: Or did you think I meant country matters?
Ophelia: I think nothing, my lord.
Hamlet: That's a fair thought, to lie between maid's legs.
by cogitheum@mac.com February 22, 2009
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retirement plan

A large caliber handgun kept by one who does not want to get old, so that he won't have to.
"What the Hell are you doing with a .50 Desert Eagle that you've never used?"

"That's just my retirement plan."
by cogitheum@mac.com March 07, 2009
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categorical imperative

A definition with teeth.

Professors will have you study this forever. Here's what you need to know. It means what it sounds like: an imperative (commandment) that you either follow, or you'll be reclassified as immoral.

Kant had his, and many people think his was the only one, but it's not true. A categorical imperative is a definition-based morality. Even the Utilitarians use them.
What will happen if I do something immoral?

You'll have done something immoral.

Oh, it's a categorical imperative.
by cogitheum@mac.com May 03, 2009
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the needle

They can give you 25 to life, or they can give you the needle.
by cogitheum@mac.com February 22, 2017
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pedagogy complex

A sexual or romantic preoccupation with the student/teacher relationship. This does not have to be literal, and does not have to be sick. It applies when one is turned on by teaching or learning from another person.
Ling is new to the States and doesn't speak English very well. I have a huge pedagogy complex, and I love teaching her English whenever we go out.
by cogitheum@mac.com March 06, 2009
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relationship pardon

Where, typically at the end of a relationship, one or usually both parties extend forgiveness for all bad acts performed during the course of the relationship.
Ex 1: You never apologized for x.
Ex 2: I didn't have to. It was covered under the relationship pardon.
by cogitheum@mac.com February 05, 2009
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laundry payday

When a person collects cash from his dryer immediately after doing laundry. This term has a different connotation from laundry lottery based on the reliability and frequency of the phenomenon. Laundry paydays are what people who never clean out their pockets get, every week, just like a paycheck. Like a laundry lottery, this produces momentary happiness until the person realizes that they had the money all along.
I can't go drink tonight, but tomorrow is laundry payday, so hit me up then.
by cogitheum@mac.com February 04, 2009
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