Guy 1: Hey are you gonna get up or what?
Guy 2:(wakes up) I'm so tired and cozy, I'm just gonna stay in and rest... unless I gotta use the bathroom anyway.
*Proceeds to spend entire morning in bed wide awake*
Guy 1: oh, you're gonna take a potato day? Cool.
Person 1: i got you a present.
Person 2: what is it.
Person 1: heres a potato.
Person 2: Thanks but why a potato
Person 1: because its National give your friend a Potato day
When you have to pee in a movie but don’t want to miss anything, and must do the following mental equation: will the amount I have to pee cause enough discomfort to diminish my attention capacity for the remainder of the movie to an extent which is greater than the amount of the movie I would miss by making a mad dash to the restroom.
I saw Satantango last night, wonderful film but by the 5th hour I had to start doing pee calculus.