poostalker

A parent of a new baby who is obsessed by their child's bowel movements (i.e. every new parent).

A: Crispin hasn't done a poo in three days; I'm waiting for a big one.
B: I'm eating my breakfast goshdarnit - you are such a poostalker!

by numbershaper May 27, 2010

Poostalking

When you come out of the bathroom with toilet paper clinging to some part of your clothing or self.

James was blissfully ignorant that he was poostalking into the board meeting.

by SmyrnaSlim March 19, 2022