phantom jerk

The act of masturbating an invisible penis with your hand in an effort to either piss people off or make them laugh depending on the situation.

This drunk asshole started shit with this waiter at Denny's the other night and when his friends started dragging him out he kept yelling at the poor guy. My friend Dan thought he was a dick like me so he started doing the phantom jerk. His girlfriend thought it was hilarious but he got pissed at us. When the asshole asked what our problem was Dan just did a toothy grin and said "problem?"

phantom jerk by Bassnium.exe October 29, 2011

phantom jerk

When a man, whose penis is locked in a chastity cage, places a dildo at the place where usually his hard penis would be, and strokes the dildo, tricking the brain into thinking that he's stroking his penis, thus triggering an ejaculation. Similar to how a crippled person would scratch a lost limb.

"Hey, how is your time in chastity going?"-
"Very frustrating, but I've almost mastered the phantom jerk."

phantom jerk by BenWyss December 7, 2023

phantom jerker 

One who constantly and furiously masturbates into his webcam while on chat roulette.

Credit to Ashley

"Yeah, tonight chatting I've met about 6 tools, four lonely guys in the dark, and three phantom jerkers."

phantom jerker by psycho_gerbill22 on AIM March 15, 2010

Phantom Jerker 

one who subconsciously while sleeping jerks off their partner who is also sleeping.

KG (the Phantom Jerker) Phantom Jerked JP

Phantom Jerker by muskadusa December 23, 2009

Cheeks 

An Irish phrase meaning shit, derived from ass
(Not to be confused with the literal description of one's buttocks)

"Did you hear the song Aylek$ dropped?"
"Hardly. Her music is absolute cheeks."

"My boyfriend say LaFlame is cheeks."
"Tell your boyfriend I said it's his mixtape that's cheeks."

Cheeks by thecartisan April 26, 2020

sans sheriff 

Lawless use of fonts or typography, with no regard to aesthetics or legibility

I'm putting this CV straight in the bin. Written totally sans sheriff.

sans sheriff by Jamarley July 3, 2019

Breadhead 

Someone who is addicted to obtaining money and building wealth. A money addict and fanatic. Breadheads often work more than one full-time job, and some even participate in illicit activities to "obtain the bread".

A breadhead is like a crackhead, but for money instead of crack.

Breadhead by 🅱️ U S 3 4 8 March 30, 2022