Preface: This can't just be me. Ok, Def. When You have drank enough that it is inexplicably comfortable to watch TV or read with just one eye open. To open both eyes actually reduces the quality of visual perception. This stage occurs before any feeling of sickness, but well past the point of which "good judgement" is a consideration.
While our lifespan is the number of years we will live, our healthspan is the number of healthy years we will have and our sexspan is is the number of years we will continue to be healthy enough to continue having an active sex life.
A lighthearted reaction upon receiving disappointing news of some sort. Usually something that isn't a particularly a big deal, esp. when it primarily affects someone else - sort of a mild schadenfreude. Sometimes doubled or tripled, and possibly said in a sing-songy voice for added comedic effect to imitate a muted trumpet, which is how the meme originated.