Manchester United's non-goalkeeper / goalletter. Signed by the notorious idiot Erik ten Haram for 50M quid after kicking club legend David de Gea out of the club, it has since become apparent that Onana had been cosplaying as a footballer all this time. His hands are made of poppadom and he is often called Dracula because he too is
allergic to crosses. He is the type of goalkeeper that strikes
confidence into the hearts of the
opposition.