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obvident

an evaluation criterion which has no meaningful opposite but is mentioned to denote a failing of those who do not understand it.
Example 1
Job Description:
"... we're looking for an independent team player who works well with others and alone. The candidate must also be a self-starter and require minimal supervision."
Frustrated Job Candidate:
"That's so bloody obvident!"

Example 2:
Female Dating Profile Description:
"I'm looking for a guy who doesn't play head games, knows how to treat a lady, likes long walks and cosy nights in and appreciates the finer things in life. No losers or psychos please"

Winners who think they're winners:
"This is so obvident I think I'll look for someone who actually has meaningful scruples."

Winners who think they're losers:
"This woman sounds too picky and I'm no good anyway so I won't write. And it's obvident I'm no good."

Losers who think they're winners:
"Ah, none of those things apply to me. Obvidently I'm in there!"

Losers who know they're losers:
"I won't write. It's not obvident."

Psychopaths who make animal sacrifices:
"Aww man, I guess that obvidently rules me out! "
by Kevin Garwood July 5, 2006
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Obviventually

adv.

A portmanteau of the word "obviously" and "eventually". Its usage is similar to using "obviously" when replying to an already self-answerable question or a repeated unnecessary query supposedly meant to hasten your response. The inclusion of "eventually" (in this sense meaning that the answer to this question will eventually become apparent if one tries actually to use their noggin before asking) subtly adds a keen edge of sarcasm.

May be accompanied by eye rollage and other such physical indicators to heighten its effectiveness.
Case 1:

Nurse: Doctor, this patient is undergoing cardiac arrest.
Doctor: I can see that, he is right in front of me.
Nurse: Cardiopulmonary resuscitation is ineffective, should we attempt defibrillation?
Doctor: Obviventually.

Case 2:

Patient: I am here because I need to see a doctor right away!
Nurse: Obviventually.
by Darekk Dalloway April 9, 2011
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Related Words

obvidently

Obvidently means: obviously and evidently.
Guy1: Dude...The sky is really blue.
Guy2: Obvidently.
by Matt Kneebone August 8, 2005
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Obvidently

Combining obvious and evidently meaning; clear, easily understood, stating a fact .
Hello, knowing Joe, his car is obvidently red and small.
by Ricky Bobby 05 May 29, 2018
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obvidently

only the evident and fucking obvious!
Obvidently I didn’t know she was a Karen. Or I wouldn’t have asked for her opinion.
by Urbanly Correct September 10, 2020
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