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jon boat 

a modern age miracle used to glide atop glistening blue water whilst hunting ducks, manbearpigs, or crocs. constructed of premium particle board, or space grade aluminum.

Also an elite team of army fuelers. "go team jon boat!"
"Hey guy, why you lookin at expensive worthless boats? You need to get yourself a good ol cheap reliable jon boat."
"What the hell is a jon boat?" (see above definition)
jon boat by JDAM! July 8, 2010
Urban Dictionary Merch

Jon boat cricket

A cute white trash girl that likes to fish and enjoys guys with small boats
That girl Kim is a real Jon boat cricket
Jon boat cricket by Jboatn July 17, 2022

to Jon-boat 

1. The act of discrediting a political opponent, regardless of military service record, by making truthful, searing claims about his/her character and past actions.

2. Battering by a shallow-draft, flat-bottomed boat with three bench seats.

Origins: The capitalized J distinguishes this from the jon boat (n.) and is a reference to both Jonathan Swift and Jon Stewart (born Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz), but not John Kerry, as he spells his John with an 'h'. See, also, swiftboat and jon boat.
Did you watch him just Jon-boat President Bone-spurs on the Late Night Show without even mentioning his small hands?

Sometimes there is a need to Jon-boat orange and yellow men before they get too comfortable in their jackboots.
to Jon-boat by PoorRicardo June 29, 2018
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Modified derivative of granola.
"I need more crunchy guys in my life. I'm so tired of dating preppy metrosexual assholes."

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murderhobo 

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Todd: He's just a concrete cowboy.
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