tard fam guarantee 

This is what we call a guarantee that is made by any of the tard fam members. This is the most useless and hopeless guarantee ever. Usually anytime a tard fam member makes a guarantee of any sorts, you can take all your money to Vegas and bet on the opposite happening with supreme confidence. As we have already known, tard fam has no idea whatsoever on what they are talking about and as a result they think that they are smarter than they actually are. Since they think they're so smart, they may let their tard side show a little when they go around making all these promises and guarantees.

Norman "Nick": Dude, I guarantee that I am the least retarded person in this chat. It's probably York if we're being honest.
York: Dude, that's cap asf. I guarantee that Mike Carlson is more of a retard than me.
Armando: Looks like both of you woke up this morning and decided to acted retarded all day. Shut your asses up with your wack ass tard fam guarantees.

tard fam guarantee by TurnM3Up July 21, 2020

Ryan Guarantee 

Term used to describe something that is almost guaranteed to happen.

A Ryan guarantee is worth 90% of an actual guarantee

I give you a Ryan guarantee that I wont drink too much tonight

Ryan Guarantee by AaronFromTheBlock January 18, 2020

Gargantor the Baconator 

The name given to a woman at Wendy's who was literally wider than she was tall, that demanded that she recieve "10 pieces of bacon on her Baconator Burger and not those little half strips and that they had better not charge her for 20 pieces of bacon."

Guy 1: Did you just see that 5' tall 7' wide woman that wanted all that bacon?

Guy 2: Ya, that was Gargantor the Baconator.

Guy 1: Huh, I wonder if she is an inbred relative of Trogdor the Burninator?

Gargantor the Baconator by Brightshadows April 24, 2010

the nard dog guarantee 

a guarantee put out by Andrew Bernard (from the Office)... something that stands firm

Andy Bernard: Of course you can count on me, I'm giving it the nard dog guarantee

the nard dog guarantee by tommyboy6688 February 21, 2010

Fraud Guarantee 

A super stupid name for a technology firm that is supposedly set up to protect its customers from being defrauded but may be the direct connection with the savvy fraudsters themselves.

Let’s just say that when I found Fraud Guarantee I was entirely solvent but after doing business with Mr. Parnas for about a year, I was living in my car.

Fraud Guarantee by Dr Bunnygirl November 6, 2019

fact guaranteed 

A "fact guaranteed" is an emphatic affirmation of a thing or a situation (usually positive), that is either held to be true or about to happen.

Something agreed upon.

A promise, a binding oral contract.

person 1: you going to Rock Werchter hey?
person 2: fact guaranteed man, fucking fact guaranteed!

fact guaranteed by burkehey October 13, 2009

Korm Guarantee 

The firmest assurance that certain conditions will be fulfilled; a promise that should never be doubted.

Daniel gave a Korm Guarantee that they would win, so everyone placed their bets on Arsenal to win the league.

Korm Guarantee by FletchTheGreat July 1, 2016