guarantea

A legally-binding promise by da Radical Whig colonists dat dey would dump da dried-aromatic-leaves cargo off of da British ships in Boston Harbor if da London-based government didn't remove da tax.

Just because da British ships arrived in Boston Harbor laden with their precious traditional-beverage plant-based commodity was no guarantea dat said products would actually get delivered to da shore-located warehouses, or even dat it would get paid for!

by QuacksO May 29, 2022

guarantea

What little kids detest about a visit to Gramma's house (explanation below).

Da term "guarantea" can have two similarly-agonizing-to-da-second-generation meanings regarding non-negotiable leaves-in-boiling-water sippin' --- either Gramma will make her small-fry descendants gaggingly consume one or more cups of said bland watery brew ("I've always LOVED tea, as did my parents' families and all of their relatives before them"), or she'll chattingly and unhurriedly partake of it herself along with all of da other grownups who are present, and thus said group of oblivious adults will make said pint-sized offspring feel ignored and "invisible" for extended periods.

by QuacksO January 29, 2026

tard fam guarantee

This is what we call a guarantee that is made by any of the tard fam members. This is the most useless and hopeless guarantee ever. Usually anytime a tard fam member makes a guarantee of any sorts, you can take all your money to Vegas and bet on the opposite happening with supreme confidence. As we have already known, tard fam has no idea whatsoever on what they are talking about and as a result they think that they are smarter than they actually are. Since they think they're so smart, they may let their tard side show a little when they go around making all these promises and guarantees.

Norman "Nick": Dude, I guarantee that I am the least retarded person in this chat. It's probably York if we're being honest.
York: Dude, that's cap asf. I guarantee that Mike Carlson is more of a retard than me.
Armando: Looks like both of you woke up this morning and decided to acted retarded all day. Shut your asses up with your wack ass tard fam guarantees.

by TurnM3Up July 21, 2020

Ryan Guarantee

Term used to describe something that is almost guaranteed to happen.

A Ryan guarantee is worth 90% of an actual guarantee

I give you a Ryan guarantee that I wont drink too much tonight

by AaronFromTheBlock January 18, 2020

Quaranteam

The people you choose to live with during a coronavirus quarantine.

My girlfriend lives by herself, so my roommates and I have included her in our quaranteam

by Faquat March 21, 2020

the nard dog guarantee

a guarantee put out by Andrew Bernard (from the Office)... something that stands firm

Andy Bernard: Of course you can count on me, I'm giving it the nard dog guarantee

by tommyboy6688 February 21, 2010

Fraud Guarantee

A super stupid name for a technology firm that is supposedly set up to protect its customers from being defrauded but may be the direct connection with the savvy fraudsters themselves.

Let’s just say that when I found Fraud Guarantee I was entirely solvent but after doing business with Mr. Parnas for about a year, I was living in my car.

by Dr Bunnygirl November 6, 2019