guaranteed 

A term incredibly overused in advertising.

"OMFG!!! SATISFACTION GUARANTEED!!!!!!1!1!11111!!one"

guaranteed by idonthavaname October 5, 2006

guaranteed 

When you agree with something, Think something is good, see a attractive female

"ooohhh blaitenly guaranteed"

"shes guaranteed"

"Mate, That maccy d's was guaranteed mate"

guaranteed by Rowan11111 October 28, 2007

Guaranteed TD 

Used as a phrase stemming from NCAA Football 2006 in which someone is so good at the game that before the ball is snapped, they are so confident in the play's potential success, they simply say: "Guaranteed TD." (guaranteed touchdown)

The phrase is then used whenever someone is confident about any other ocurrence in one's life about to take place.

Scenario is usually posed as a question, followed by "Guaranteed TD" at the very end.

Can also be used in shortened notation: i.e. "GTD."

"2nd & 3?" "Defense in cover 2?" "Trips left?" "HB Direct? "Pulsating?"....GUARANTEED TD...or...real life example...Having some girls over eh? Beer pong? Watching a movie and cuddling after? pleeease....Guaranteed TD.

Guaranteed TD by Jimmy33 December 9, 2005

Guaranteed Cummer 

A person (usually a man) who succeeds in busting a nut, 100% of the time when he engages in sexual activity. This is a term of high regard, and connotes that one has the sexual prowess to effectively release their load 100% of the time during sexual relations. Also known by the acronym GC'er.

Hey Kristen, I'd love for you to meet my friend, he's a great guy, a real mensch. Like all of the stallions who I call my wingmen, he is a Guaranteed Cummer.

What do you mean a Guaranteed Cummer?

Oh, he cums every time, 100% of the time!

Guaranteed Cummer by El Don Parchador January 4, 2011

Guaranteed Left 

When you creep your way into an intersection with the intention to turn left, yet there is no end to oncoming traffic in sight.

This way, when the light eventually turns red, you are guaranteed the quick left turn in the short delay between oncoming traffic stopping and the crossing traffic going.

"Traffic was really heavy and the green arrow had already disappeared, so rather than wait through a whole new light cycle, I made the guaranteed left."

Guaranteed Left by Pilotguy44 October 6, 2009

Guaranteed Ass 

The poor girlfriend in a falty relationship who is actually a more involved booty call rather than a true girlfriend. The guy gets involved in the relationship so that when he is with her he has a more guarenteed chance to have sex. He will shower her with gifts, sweet talk her on the phone, and celebrate random anniversaries. This is also the boyfriend who will not put his relationship on a social networking site and makes up some excuse when his real reason is he could tell a random girl that he doesn't have a girlfriend. This is most common in college. As mentioned before he feels that this is perfect for the random breaks, he knows that he will have sex when he is home.

Jill is just some guaranteed ass, I take her out for her birthday, get her some flowers than I get sex whenever I want.

Guaranteed Ass by Amy H January 6, 2008

Guaranteed Like 

Someone who always likes your Instagram posts - a guaranteed like, also known as a GL

Charlie is such a GL - he is always liking my photos
Guaranteed Like

Guaranteed Like by Laila Andrews April 13, 2020