Green Iron Disease, also sometimes referred to as Green Fever, is a fairly well known (among
people affected by it), largely irreversible but nevertheless somewhat treatable condition in which an individual develops a passion and craving for surplus military hardware, most notably military vehicles. Symptoms of
Green Iron Disease may include (but are not limited to) owning multiple military vehicles, generators, and the
like, maxed-out credit cards,
junk email from the government surplus auction web sites, = reduction in
time spent with one's spouse because they're wrenching on trucks, irritated homeowner's associations and city
code enforecement officers when one's backyard looks
like a national guard
unit, and complaining neighbors.
When the person experiences withdrawals from military vehicles or hardware, they may exhibit symptoms such as depression, and either avoiding fellow addicts or turning to them for help with managing their symptoms.
Although
Green Iron Disease is believed to be incurable, its symptoms can be mitigated by ownership of one or more military vehicles, although as the disease grows the number of vehicles or items owned also proportionally increases. Withdrawals, usually caused by being forced to sell one's collection, can be mitigated by acquiring other military vehicles.
"Man, you've got the
green iron disease! You're screwed! "
"The 12 step program for recovering addicts is simple for
green iron disease: Buy more surplus military hardware!"
"I just sold my Deuce and a Half and I'm going through
Green Iron Disease withdrawals!"
